Ready
Ah Wednesday, you feel fresh and I think I'm ready!
I'm happy we got the dreaded first day of school out of the way, today went much smoother! I always remind myself that before too long these morning tasks fall into a smooth flowing routine, I have to keep a positive mindset about that then everything falls into place. My guys were in a positive mood this morning so I am letting go of the anxiety I had yesterday about them not adjusting.
I slept good last night, but it made me really groggy this morning, and today was the first time I dreaded being awake at 4:15, and it felt hard to move/keep up with Adriene on the yoga mat today, but I did my thing and when I ended I had a peaceful little buzz.
I admit that my mood is starting to be affected by the changing seasons, moreso by my anticipation of what comes next, and my added anxiety that I will have a new driver driving in his first snow this year. With my Past, Present, Future project, I am going to be focusing on releasing some of the anxiety because worrying before there's anything to worry about is stealing the magic from my life. There are so many things to love about fall and I intent to not only spend time recognizing them but indulging in them. The sound and smell of the leaves as you walk through the woods, the smell of chimeny smoke, the return of the Great Horned Owls that hoot out in the early darkness that surrounds my apartment complex, the cool fresh air and comfy hoodies, and the relief from mosquitos and sun allergies. And the pumpkin flavored items and apple cider and bonfires...there's so much to love about fall! I feel better already. My goal this fall is to really be outside more, even if that means sitting on my patio for a few minutes every morning or evening. Lately there are a million crickets and cicadia's singing and it sounds amazing and the fresh air smells so nice. I know how therapeutic that is for me and since I have been missing the awesomeness of fall because I'm 'dreading-ahead' to winter, I think the best way to realize how much I enjoy fall is to be surrounded by it.
So that is going to be a fun project for me the next few months. The more I am aware of my feelings on a daily basis the more I see the patterns of negative thoughts that I absorb, and how they shape my day and color my thoughts about totally unrelated things. Some of these forms of low-grade dissatisfaction are powerful to make me connect to a childhood emotion that drove/drives me to want to comfort-eat. It's all interrelated for me. I want more (summer) and I didn't get what I want. Boo. I have to (do chores, have less free time, insert other thing I don't want to do) and I don't want to. Boo.
Yesterday it rained cats and dogs in the morning and I was stressed about my kids (unwarranted) and I got to work a little stressed. Two customers were talking amonst themselves and one was complaining about the rain. My standard reply is usually, "At least it's not snow!" The other customer replied, "At least it's not a hurricane!" and I immediately felt silly for having all that stress. I love it when life gives me gentle reminders like that. I actually like the rain but yesterday it was raining so hard that my wipers could barely keep up, and that led me to thinking about how bad the snow gets sometimes, to a point where it's coming down so hard and blowing and sometimes it makes it hard to see. Needlessly worrying about a future that isn't here yet. That's anxiety for ya. Not fun but I know mine can be overcome by being mindful, but it takes diligent practice.
So just like last year's winter goal of finding ways to make it the best season I can have, I am going to treat fall like that this year. Positive mindset will pave the way for positive experiences. I don't expect every day to feel magical and happy, that's not realistic, but I can choose to spend less time focusing on the negative and more time paying attention to all the good stuff. Bring on the colorful leaves and apple cider, I'm ready!
I'm happy we got the dreaded first day of school out of the way, today went much smoother! I always remind myself that before too long these morning tasks fall into a smooth flowing routine, I have to keep a positive mindset about that then everything falls into place. My guys were in a positive mood this morning so I am letting go of the anxiety I had yesterday about them not adjusting.
I slept good last night, but it made me really groggy this morning, and today was the first time I dreaded being awake at 4:15, and it felt hard to move/keep up with Adriene on the yoga mat today, but I did my thing and when I ended I had a peaceful little buzz.
I admit that my mood is starting to be affected by the changing seasons, moreso by my anticipation of what comes next, and my added anxiety that I will have a new driver driving in his first snow this year. With my Past, Present, Future project, I am going to be focusing on releasing some of the anxiety because worrying before there's anything to worry about is stealing the magic from my life. There are so many things to love about fall and I intent to not only spend time recognizing them but indulging in them. The sound and smell of the leaves as you walk through the woods, the smell of chimeny smoke, the return of the Great Horned Owls that hoot out in the early darkness that surrounds my apartment complex, the cool fresh air and comfy hoodies, and the relief from mosquitos and sun allergies. And the pumpkin flavored items and apple cider and bonfires...there's so much to love about fall! I feel better already. My goal this fall is to really be outside more, even if that means sitting on my patio for a few minutes every morning or evening. Lately there are a million crickets and cicadia's singing and it sounds amazing and the fresh air smells so nice. I know how therapeutic that is for me and since I have been missing the awesomeness of fall because I'm 'dreading-ahead' to winter, I think the best way to realize how much I enjoy fall is to be surrounded by it.
So that is going to be a fun project for me the next few months. The more I am aware of my feelings on a daily basis the more I see the patterns of negative thoughts that I absorb, and how they shape my day and color my thoughts about totally unrelated things. Some of these forms of low-grade dissatisfaction are powerful to make me connect to a childhood emotion that drove/drives me to want to comfort-eat. It's all interrelated for me. I want more (summer) and I didn't get what I want. Boo. I have to (do chores, have less free time, insert other thing I don't want to do) and I don't want to. Boo.
Yesterday it rained cats and dogs in the morning and I was stressed about my kids (unwarranted) and I got to work a little stressed. Two customers were talking amonst themselves and one was complaining about the rain. My standard reply is usually, "At least it's not snow!" The other customer replied, "At least it's not a hurricane!" and I immediately felt silly for having all that stress. I love it when life gives me gentle reminders like that. I actually like the rain but yesterday it was raining so hard that my wipers could barely keep up, and that led me to thinking about how bad the snow gets sometimes, to a point where it's coming down so hard and blowing and sometimes it makes it hard to see. Needlessly worrying about a future that isn't here yet. That's anxiety for ya. Not fun but I know mine can be overcome by being mindful, but it takes diligent practice.
So just like last year's winter goal of finding ways to make it the best season I can have, I am going to treat fall like that this year. Positive mindset will pave the way for positive experiences. I don't expect every day to feel magical and happy, that's not realistic, but I can choose to spend less time focusing on the negative and more time paying attention to all the good stuff. Bring on the colorful leaves and apple cider, I'm ready!
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