Cabin in the Woods

Ah Tuesday! I was really thinking I would be perfectly rested and recharged by the time it got here, but I am not totally feeling it.  Our trip north, a seemingly simple 3 hour drive in what I would deem darn near perfect weather, came with a whole heap of extra planning and responsibility on me before we left, and as drained as I already was, I don't feel like I 100% unplugged and let go of my tension while we were there.  The cabin was situated in a national forest and the cabin was so very cozy and we each got our own comfy beds.  The grounds were beautiful, surrounded by trees, and the ammenities were so thoughtful.  My brain could not fully relax and I found myself wishing I could just get to the place I imagined so many times, sitting on the porch just being healed by the setting.  Unfortunately, despite having a great time, I didn't full feel rested, rejuvenated or released from my stress.  It's one of those things that has to be healed from within; outside forces can help but never really solve it. 
We spent time exploring the town, went to a food truck with fresh fish caught that day.  We were on Lake Superior which was so clear and clean.  I had chicken and hand cut fries.  It was good.  We went to a magnificent waterfall as the sun was getting lower, that was my favorite part.  The greens all around were like a welcome hug and the weather was simply perfect; a little humid, a little warm with a light breeze.  Then we headed to a nice sandy beach to stick our toes in the lake.  We were all pretty tired and went back to the cabin to try and start a fire in the fire pit out back.  Unfortunately, it had been rainy and humid so we couldn't get it to start, but we stayed outside to catch a sky loaded with stars.  We just talked about our trip and how different it was to be on a different lake than we are used to.  The kids were a little crabby for our trip, and we brought our dog who is skiddish and was a little edgy too.  Maybe that's why I didn't feel completely relaxed.  It's hard trying to keep everyone happy.  In the past, my husband and I were taking a separate trip away by ourselves and we were really able to let go and perhaps got a little too relaxed.  At any rate, there was that adjustment and having the dog added another layer of having to be aware of things, not being gone from the cabin too long, bringing him out, making sure he didn't get into anything he wasn't supposed to, etc.  It was nice to wake up in the morning and give him snuggles so I liked having him there, but it wasn't without its challenges. 
Saturday we headed out to see another waterfall and were treated with awesome views of a mushroom and plant thriving area where the falls were.  It was magnificent!  Then we grabbed a bite to eat, got some souveniers and got on a tour boat of the Pictured Rocks, beautiful limestone escarpment that has become stained with colors from all the mineral leaks.  It was a mix of hot and cold weather on the boat, and by the time we were done, everyone was ready to get back to the cabin for some R&R.  We made another sad attempt at a fire but it simply didn't take off; too wet.  By that time my kids were pretty pooped out and looking forward to leaving the next day.  Finally on Sunday morning before we were getting ready to leave, I took the opportunity to have my morning coffee on the porch, surrounded by the trees.  It was so peaceful there and I let the sound of the trees swaying gently in the light breeze envelope me as I closed my eyes and released a little of the mental stress I was holding onto.  Though I don't think it would be my first place to come back to, I got a little feeling of bittersweet as we prepared to leave and go back to the real world.  Fortunately, the trip home was pretty uneventful and we got home at an early enough time to get a little post-trip stuff done (unpacking, laundry) before we all fell asleep early. 
I took Monday off because I knew I would be exhausted (I surely was) and it was busier than I wished it would have been, but the times I did get rest I was so gratful to have the day to recover.  One son had and appointment and one came home sick with a headcold, and it was a pretty quiet, mellow evening in our house. 
I found myself seeking, not just when we were there but once we got home.  I was looking for "special" food.  We really only ate out twice while we were gone, the rest of the meals we made work at the cabin, and I noticed myself wanting something special and memorable to eat while we were there.  I didn't really get that experience.  Logically, I know that doesn't make the experience, but my lower brain was screaming like a spoiled child that didn't get what they wanted.  I ate a dark chocolate bar that the host left for us, I ate a piece of hard candy, I had some beer...still I had to dive into the Oreos when I got home, and I drank enough Diet Coke to hurt someone on the trip and the next day.  My brain was really in a not good place.  I need some rehab from all the stuff I was piling on me. 
I did yoga todya, for the first time since Thursday.  It felt awkward and I was stiff and I muddled through it with less sleep than I needed (sirens and dogs howling kept me awake last night), but for the first time in about a week,  I felt like I could see the path I'd jumped off of, and was ready to hop back on.  I will put some time into focusing on the ins and outs of what happened but I'm gratful to feel mentally better for now.  Trip is behind me, that frees up time and metal space to focus on fall and beyond.