Decisions

This week Facebook recommended a hypothyroid page for me and it made me realize how little I think about my thyroid.  Maybe because my numbers were not dramatic when I was diagnosed, just a little outside the norm.  Or maybe its because I have a doctor who seems not to be very concerned about much about me.  Or maybe it's because I attribute every issue and symptom to something else, perimenopause, poor diet, lack of exercise, bad genetics, markers for autoimmune diseases, etc. 

This morning as I glanced through the posts people shared some of the symptoms they were having and one lady chimed in that she didn't have relief of her symptoms until she went to a naturopath because regular doctors don't take time to get to the root of the problem.  So I started searching for naturopathic therapists in my area.  There are 3.  I clicked the link on one and it introduced me to a nurse practitioner whose worked corporate healthcare for a long time and was/is disgruntled at how modern medicine wants to slap a bandaid on our symptoms and send us on our way.  She talked a lot about her own thyroid challenges and about how she can find the root of issues and heal the whole body instead of the symptoms.  I was intrigued.  Then I looked at pricing-yikes!  I'm sure it's worth it but I have to find a different path.  ($1,600-$3,000).  She did mention what she called "decision burnout" when you have to make so many decisions you just burnout.  OMG that's so me right now!  Just trying to decide if I want to cut my hair or leave it grow has been complete inner conflict. I wish I was joking.  Ugh.  Now add on a career change decision, diet/nutrition decisions and a million other decisions every day that I wish I didn't have to make? I'm I definitely have "decision burnout".  And the more burnt out I get, the more likely I am to just make a rash decision and live with it. It doesn't always lead to great places but neither does having all my energy tied up in indecision either. 

Today I took a step towards a possible solution for my career change indecision and contacted a supervisor in my company who oversees the department I will be changing to if I make the jump.  I asked her if she would be willing to let me shadow one of her coders so I can see what the job is like.  I have just heard people (in online forums) saying the job is very demanding and stressful (what job isn't?) so I want to make sure I'm not going to regret paying all that money and working hard to get certified if it's not going to be a job I can handle for the 20 working years I have left.  I could use that money for much more fun stuff for sure!  That supervisor is out of the office until next week so I will hope all weekend that she will let me shadow and I can make a decision about that as a career and move on.  The indecision is what eats away at me. 

I did find a doctor in my network who is a integrative doctor who incorporates diet and lifestyle into her treatment plan and I could easily set up an appointment but there's likely a long wait to see her. And part of me thinks she'll say the same things everyone says, "eat more vegetables and get more exercise" and that's so easy on paper except everything hurts and I don't particularly like vegetables.  

So I guess if I'm going to heal myself I guess I should start figuring out what's broken.  The weight is a side effect of a whole heap of other issues and I know it will always be an uphill battle until I fix the cause.  It will take some time and research but I will get things figured out. And maybe get the thyroid checked too.