Familiar Comfort
I thought last week would never end! Marked by stress, illness and feelings of obligation despite, I struggled to come out the other side with my sanity intact. Never mind taking care of myself, that's what antibiotics are for, right?
Thursday was my grandmother's funeral, and it's a day I won't soon forget. When I was young, we used to visit my mom's side of the family every weekend, and spent many weekends in my grandmother's care. I remember waking Sunday mornings to the smell of Grandma's cinnamon carmel rolls baking, and watching her wash laundry on the antiquated wringer washer. Being back in that tiny town (it has been so many years) flooded me with the warmth of nostalgia. Giant oaks, elms and maples showed of a fantastic array of color, set against an overcast sky, the leaves looked impossibly vivid. Everything seemed much simpler, maybe because of the size of this tiny town, or maybe colored by my warm memories, and there was such a euphoric feeling that took over me, unexpectedly, on a day when I expected to be flooded by sorrow I was feeling anthing but. Sadly, it has been years since I have seen most of my relatives on my mom's side, even though they live only a few hours drive away, due to my own antisocial behavior, so despite the circumstances, it felt really good to see everyone.
I am not the biggest fan of organized religion, hopefully that doesn't offend any of my readers, it is just something that I was not raised with and have always found it to be a little curious. This service was so strange to me. My cousin sang a beautiful song and there wasn't a dry eye in the church. The service to honor my grandmother was about smells. Yes, you read right. It was preached to us that, before one gets baptised, they smell of the dirty humanly flesh of sin. It was likened to a field of manure. Then, when one gets baptised, God takes a whiff of them (actual words, I kid you not) and they have "the aroma of Christ". I thought it was my natural cynisism making me feel like this was the most odd thing to say to remember a loved one who's passed, then my mother looked at me and whispered, "Kind of odd, eh?" and we shared a quiet chuckle. Needless to say, eyes were completely dry the rest of the service!
The day concluded with a luncheon, an enormous buffet of homemade foods that my aunts and mom had made, some of our family favorites, many of them were my grandma's recipes, and I ate the comfort food, and it did a splendid job of making me feel warm, and nourished in a way I haven't been in years.
So, what should have been a sad day, ended up being my best day in a long time. It strengthened my sense of completeness, and made me realise that this family unit is, ultimately, warm and inviting. I will make more effort to spend time with these relatives while I live in Wisconsin.
My health is slowly improving. My throat felt much better after just 24 hours on the meds, and I am left with just a head cold for now. I feel a lot better. Tomorrow I will start my ketogenic portion of the South Beach Diet once again, and see it through the full 2 weeks. I should be ready for bloodwork at that point. It will be interesting to see what results. I have been getting so used to "sleeping in" until 5:30, that perhaps the getting up at 4:50 might be the toughest part of getting back on track. But, I need to do this for my health, so that I can get to a point where no doctor even considers me "at risk" or tries to force meds on me again. That is my goal. It is a series of trial and error, but I will surely get there. With my grands, greats and great-greats all passing from heart issues, I have every reason to not let my health fail because of bad choices. Life is far, far too short for that!
Thursday was my grandmother's funeral, and it's a day I won't soon forget. When I was young, we used to visit my mom's side of the family every weekend, and spent many weekends in my grandmother's care. I remember waking Sunday mornings to the smell of Grandma's cinnamon carmel rolls baking, and watching her wash laundry on the antiquated wringer washer. Being back in that tiny town (it has been so many years) flooded me with the warmth of nostalgia. Giant oaks, elms and maples showed of a fantastic array of color, set against an overcast sky, the leaves looked impossibly vivid. Everything seemed much simpler, maybe because of the size of this tiny town, or maybe colored by my warm memories, and there was such a euphoric feeling that took over me, unexpectedly, on a day when I expected to be flooded by sorrow I was feeling anthing but. Sadly, it has been years since I have seen most of my relatives on my mom's side, even though they live only a few hours drive away, due to my own antisocial behavior, so despite the circumstances, it felt really good to see everyone.
I am not the biggest fan of organized religion, hopefully that doesn't offend any of my readers, it is just something that I was not raised with and have always found it to be a little curious. This service was so strange to me. My cousin sang a beautiful song and there wasn't a dry eye in the church. The service to honor my grandmother was about smells. Yes, you read right. It was preached to us that, before one gets baptised, they smell of the dirty humanly flesh of sin. It was likened to a field of manure. Then, when one gets baptised, God takes a whiff of them (actual words, I kid you not) and they have "the aroma of Christ". I thought it was my natural cynisism making me feel like this was the most odd thing to say to remember a loved one who's passed, then my mother looked at me and whispered, "Kind of odd, eh?" and we shared a quiet chuckle. Needless to say, eyes were completely dry the rest of the service!
The day concluded with a luncheon, an enormous buffet of homemade foods that my aunts and mom had made, some of our family favorites, many of them were my grandma's recipes, and I ate the comfort food, and it did a splendid job of making me feel warm, and nourished in a way I haven't been in years.
So, what should have been a sad day, ended up being my best day in a long time. It strengthened my sense of completeness, and made me realise that this family unit is, ultimately, warm and inviting. I will make more effort to spend time with these relatives while I live in Wisconsin.
My health is slowly improving. My throat felt much better after just 24 hours on the meds, and I am left with just a head cold for now. I feel a lot better. Tomorrow I will start my ketogenic portion of the South Beach Diet once again, and see it through the full 2 weeks. I should be ready for bloodwork at that point. It will be interesting to see what results. I have been getting so used to "sleeping in" until 5:30, that perhaps the getting up at 4:50 might be the toughest part of getting back on track. But, I need to do this for my health, so that I can get to a point where no doctor even considers me "at risk" or tries to force meds on me again. That is my goal. It is a series of trial and error, but I will surely get there. With my grands, greats and great-greats all passing from heart issues, I have every reason to not let my health fail because of bad choices. Life is far, far too short for that!
God takes a whiff of them?? What the????
ReplyDeleteI know,right? How strange! I kept getting the feeling like the pastor was just going through the motions, and would rather be golfing. It was, however, a very memorable service!
ReplyDelete