Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Trusty Undergarments are a Must

Today I ran so fast that my underwear fell down!  Yes, that's right, I'm sure it was quite a sight to see me running along trying to catch the earbuds as they flew out of my ears, while simultaneously trying to pull up my undergarments.  Luckily, at 5am, there isn't a whole lot stirring around my complex, and I was the only one in the cardio room, as I always am, but the gigantic windows behind the treadmills do face out toward the opposing appartments' front windows.  Note to self, chose underwear wisely on running days. 
6 miles per hour, that's what I ran, in one minute intervals.  I wasn't sure if I could do it, especially as I approached the 5.5mph mark and it felt like I was going to fly off, but once I settled into it, I found it was quite accomplishable.  Not sure how long I could keep running at that speed, but that is why I will work my way up to it.  Now I just need to figure out a plan of attack. 
Yesterday I got a belated birthday hello from an old friend, whom I'd recently reconnected with.  It's funny how such a little thing can make you feel so good.  I know my enthusiasm could be easily misinterpreted, but my conscience is clear.  This friend was with me in the trenches when I worked nearly 8 years in a convenience store,  and over the time I knew him, he was a confidon and someone who could always make me laugh until my sides and cheeks hurt.  As someone I admired greatly and spent years crushing on, I always wanted to impress him, but always felt like I sorely missed the mark.  Once I met my husband-to-be, I knew there could be no one else for me, and over the years I lost touch with my friend as we both spent time developing our families.  Though I had thought about him from time to time, wondering how he was, I would have been horrified to let him see me in the state I was after having two kids and totally neglecting myself.  Now, part of what keeps me on track, is knowing we will indeed see each other again, posibly this summer, and I will be looking way different than he's ever seen me.  And, it won't be that I want to try and win his affections (I am married to a male model, for crying out loud) but to show him that I am what he thought I never could or would be.  When he knew me, I was very weak in every conviction, and it was evident I made everyone else more important than me, so that I wouldn't have to focus on the things I didn't like about myself.  Now, I have so much confidence and self-conviction I am simply unstoppable.  I know, my dear friend will celebrate my successes with me and our famililes will come to know each other and it will be a warm, and hopefully more lasting connection.  It has totally inspired me to push harder, to show him what I have/can do.  I would be lying if I said that it wasn't a little bit about showing him what he passed up.  Not everyone gets the opportunity to do that, not everyone improves themself as time goes by.  But really, the exilleration I will get from being the glowing, strong woman I am will be my own best reward.  I am proud of myself, that is most important.  And it may turn out that we don't see each other face to face anyway, with the way my husband's modeling career is moving, we may not be in Wisconsin too much longer (fingers crossed) but I have resolved to spend more time in my hometown in 2012, visiting family and friends who have long felt negelected, so I am certain we will meet up at least once before I move, when and wherever that may be. 
First, there is a 5K to complete, and a college career to dive back into.  Really, when I think about what it takes to make me happy, I already have everything all lined up; an amazing family, great friends with whom I can share every pain and triumph, a great job and a fresh start on a new, meaningful career, and finally, my health and triumph over obesity.  Now if only I could get out of this snowy state...
Tuesday is awesome.  Hope you are having a good one!

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