Monday, March 19, 2012

Pavement, AHHHH!

This morning I was almost accosted by a deer.  Well, not really, but I did come in close contact with one, it was just on the opposite side of the street as I walked through, disturbing it's early morning peace.  Many animals scuttered away from me this morning as I came breaking through their morning, dark still sitting heavy on the slightly foggy open fields.  A few stars twinkled, as if they were winking at me, welcome back!
It was dark enough for me to be a bit spooked out walking down a sidestreet short on streetlights, but the air was unseasonably warm, and I just had to feel the pavement below my feet instead of the damn treadmill.  Being back on the street made me feel like the person who was conquering the world last year, and all the positive energy came rushing back.  It is spring, weeks and weeks early for this part of the country, and I am going to take it for all it's worth!
The weekend was absolutely packed full of fun for my family, hours and hours of fresh air and sunshine, some awesome sushi, and a trip to the zoo, it truly was a perfect weekend.  I ate whatever I wanted to eat, which ended up being more sane than most weekends, and I didn't work out at all.  I spent my time outdoors with my kids instead of cleaning my house, and at the end of the weekend, when I tucked their happy, sleepy little selves into bed, I knew that happiness isn't just about weight loss.  We all slept great and woke up so refreshed this morning, ready to start another week in blast-off mode.  It has been a while since I have felt this good, mentally and physically. 
My hormones have finally shifted and I am back under the influence of sanity, logic and reason.  This morning's walk made me feel really fired up again.  This month, I am going to try to take my nutrition to a higher level, so the hormonal flux won't be such a challenge.  There are a few things I have up my sleeve, and I will let you know if any of them are successful, as I know this is a challenge for millions of women (and some men after andropause). 
Last night, my husband and I had some of our deepest conversation to date, and I was amazed by how cleansing and stress-relieving it was to talk so freely.  Some really great things came up and it brought us much closer.  I think it might be a start to a great reconnection, and a mutually-therapeutic open door to express our deepest thoughts.  Most couples start off that way and grow apart, but we've always done things backwords.  I went to bed feeling so relaxed and awoke so recharged, and while I am aware it was a combination of many things making me feel that way, I was smiling today as I was pumping out the paces on my walk, and enjoying my cardio is something that has been missing for months.  My relationship with my husband has a huge impact on my mood/stress level, and I really allow that to play a part in my total health.  That being the case, I am going to make a better effort to insure that that part of my life is as low-stress as it can be.  A lot of things I feel bad about are assumptions, and a lot of times they are way off base, but I still react emotionally to them, as if they are true.  Anyway, at the end of our conversation, we lightened things up by talking about food, and he confessed that he has been having stronger and stronger feelings of deprivation.   Being a fitness model, he has to be way more strict with his diet than most people could or should.  There are times when his carbs and fat intake are so low that he looks like a zombie.  And when he was talking about how he feels on the weekend, I told him, that's how I feel all the time, I always want stuff I'm not supposed to have. That's how I ate myself to 223 lbs.  But, we've both been going through a lot of personally-emotional stuff and not talking to anyone about it, so we've both been using food.  We agreed that we are going to try to keep each other on track, by trying harder to make the weekend cheat meal a singular act, not a full-on binge.  I think we can lick it together.  And think of all the money we'll be saving!
I feel good about cleaning things up, my body felt better today than it has all week.  Part of that is biological, but a lot of it is mental too.  And while I was hesitant to step on the scale this morning, it showed me a reasonably lower number than I was expecting to see, 164, compared to how I've been feeling and what I see when I look in the mirror, I can handle that as my new starting point.  I don't have a goal in mind right now, other than getting back to making healthier choices the majority of the time.  My 5K is in less than 9 weeks and I feel like, if I don't get some hours logged, I might just as well plan on walking it, because if my time is worse than it was last year, I will feel really defeated.  But there is still plenty of time to do good, and my joints are liking the warmer temperatures, so now is the time to take advantage of the rare, Wisconsin weather-bliss this spring is providing and get out on the pavement. 
Pavement, that word is quickly becoming one of my favorites, sharp and with friction.  I love spring.  I love walking/running on pavement.  I love that it is warm enough to walk outside without bulky clothing.  I love that I have work to do, because it gives me something to strive for.  I have a new attitude and I'm ready to refresh.  I'm back and ready to rock this thing.  How bout you?
Happy Monday, happy srping!

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