Yesterday was one of those days that started out good, and turned sour halfway through. It included a meeting with an academic advisor, who informed me that my calculations are way off, and my degree will take me twice as long to complete as I had figured, that means it will likely take me the better part of ten years to get my Masters Degree. I don't know if I have it in me. College is tough. Managing a full time job, full time Mommy duty and trying to find time and energy to keep up with college is near impossible for me. By the time I left work yesterday, I had had four really bad transactions with customers, a situation that could possibly get me written up, and a stress headache the size of Texas. But, I didn't comfort eat. Oh, I wanted to, the urge is instant. But I thought about the way my arms look, and how I want them to look, and I stayed the course. When I got home, I realized that I missed a snack and it had been several hours since I'd eaten. I ate some turkey hot dogs, which are allowed on occassion on the South Beach Diet, but I had them on one white bun, more carbs than I needed, but equal amounts of sugar to a slice of 100% whole wheat bread, so I did it. I wanted to go crazy with food, but I kept it reined in. I thought about how fun it would be to eat all kind of fun stuff, and then I thought about my big, white, cellulite-plagued belly and I opted for my on-plan 2 no-sugar-added fudgesicles. They hit the spot. Several times throughout the night, I wanted to eat mindlessly, but I always fought it. I fought it by watching a favorite show, I fought it by playing with my kids, and finally, and most effectively, I fought it with a piece of sugar-free gum. Once I started chewing the gum, I didn't even think about eating the rest of the night until I had my bedtime snack of raw almonds. So even though I was surrounded by my husband's stress, and coming off a rough day, I had the strength to keep my goals in mind and look for a soloution. I thought to myself, these pounds are so hard to get off and keep off, I don't need to be making it harder on myself.
I am going back to my hometown next month, to spend time with my bestie, and I want to enjoy the time looking and feeling good. An old crush lives there, and even though I am not planning to see him, it is a town of only 37,000, posibilities of bumping into each other are there. I don't still want him, I have actually seen a photo of him recently and thought to myself, how could I have been so attracted to him? Then again, I am married to a male fitness model, so it's a little unfair! Anyway, things have been a little out of whak for me since the last time I went to my hometown for my 20 year reunion, and I want to just relax and enjoy myself, have a little break from the chaos of my life, and identity apart from any of my work and family-defined roles. Feels relaxing just thinking about it!
I am heading into the weekend feeling really positive. I think I can keep the weekend eating in control, and still have a little fun. Might try to log a run on Sunday, I am hoping to get a map of the actual route I'll be running, and try to run it, just to see where I'm at. This morning's chaos had me in an all-out sprint between my apartment and my kids' bus stop, retrieving forgotten backpacks, and running on rain-soaked grass in slippery, ill-fitting sandals is something to behold. I got to the bus stop huffing and puffing like a chain-smoking couch potato! My kids and I got a good chuckle out of it.
Well Friday is finally here. Hope your weekend rocks!