Mary J. Blige Saved My Day

This morning I had the most fierce battle with myself about working out.  It really took me 15 minutes to get going and decide, begrudginly, that I was actually going to do it.  If it had been anything other than low-intensity dancing, I probably would have went back to bed.  My shoulders/arms are still sore from Monday's weight work, and my legs are sore from yesterday's run, so that doesn't leave a lot of parts of me that want to be moving and shaking at 5am.  But I worked through it.  I worked through my tired and irritated eyes (seasonal allergies can suck it) and the fact that I went off the rails for a few minutes last night.
What happened is, in the morning's chaos, I forgot to bring my food with me to work yesterday, so instead of having my yummy peanut butter snack in the morning, I had to eat my raw almonds that I would normally have set aside for during my class at night.  Luckily I live close enough to work that I could run home and eat my lunch and grab my afternoon snack.  Here's the cool kicker, the company had pizza ordered in-from Domino's, my absolute favorite- and I could have easily stayed at work and had some, negating my need for another snack later.  But I felt really strong and good about where I'm at right now, and the two pounds of water weight I lost, so I made the healthy choice.  Oh I thought about the pizza, good and long, and I still made the right choice.  It came down to the fact that I've had pizza before, and I will have it again.  I spent the time to cook a healthy lunch.  All this, despite the fact that I really don't like the taste of chicken once it has been refrigerated- it tastes gamey to me-but I loaded it up with Mrs. Dash and ate it like a champ, and my body happily buzzed.  And my lunch break was suprisingly restful just being at home, and I went back to work refreshed.
Well, you might imagine what happened later that night, as I sat in class, my stomach started growling fiercly.  By the time I was leaving class, it was just shy of 3 hours since my last snack, so by the time I got home, I was so hungry that I couldn't wait for anything to cook, so I gobbled up some turkey dogs on wheat buns.  I ate 6 dogs on 2 buns.  They are allowed in moderation, which I suspect means two at most, but I was just ravenous by the time I got to that point.  And I had two scoops of low-fat ice cream.  Yikes.  I put the breaks on after that, and I skipped my bedtime protein to help combat some of those extra calories and carbs.  Let me say this, I slept deeper than I have in a few weeks, which may be part of the reason I felt so wrecked this morning.
So as I was going over things this morning, trying to decide whether or not to workout, my knee-jerk reaction was to think it would be worthless, since I ate crap last night.  Then I thought, waitaminute, that's exactly why I should workout!  So I did.  It was one of those off days where the music sounded good, but my body was not feeling the music and I felt clumsy and slow; couldn't find the perfect song to wake me from my funk, even though I was smiling and mouthing the words to myself in the mirror.  I realized that my body was responding fairly quickly to being back on track, and what a huge difference water retention makes not only in appearance and the fit of clothing, but in moving. 
Toward the end of my workout, I chose a song that I rarely listen to, because it is not as upbeat as most of the others on my "dance" list, but since I was in such a strange place, I tried it.  Work That by Mary J. Blige .  The lyrics are really affirming and finally I felt a sort of high that I usually get just from dancing, but it came from such a deeper place and I was reminded that I am stronger than all my weaknesses.  If you haven't heard this song, click the link, and see if that doesn't start your day off right.  Music is such a powerful force, and today it saved me from slipping into negative patterns.
I'm gonna go conquer my day, how about you?


  1. Internal dialogue is always very telling, you were trying to talk yourself out of it but went anyway. good for you.

    1. Thanks Tony! Sometimes my inner "parent" voice scolds the child enough to make it a positive outcome!


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