So, no blog post yesterday because I got too frustrated. I have had the Blogger app on my iPhone since forever, but with the latest update, all it does is crash. I figured, like most apps, I could simply dump the app and download it again to see if it behaves better. To my surprise, it is no longer in the app store. What? I looked and looked. Lots of other blogging apps but not Blogger. Owned by Google. Again, WHAT? I like to blog from my phone, sometimes while I'm snuggling in bed or even in the bath or on a luch break. Yes, I can access it through the internet via my phone, but the way the screen comes up is annoying, I have to keep moving the page to see what I've typed and check for typos. After a few attempts with a different "Blogger manager" app and the website, I was sick of gliches and typos so I gave up. Heavy sigh. I do actually prefer using a real keyboard, and have access to a laptop, but it's the principal of it all. What respectable company does not have an app? Makes me consider switching to WordPress.
I don't remember what I would have written yesterday anyway, so it must not have been that important right? Something about how the colder weather makes my joints hurt and makes me a little blue. It's all been said before. I am seeking out warmer foods and donning sweaters and long sleeves, dreading the neccesity of wearing (UGH) pants and close-toed shoes. My body is such a WEIRD shape that finding pants seems like an impossible chore. I am short and have a wide waist but my legs are thinner than the rest of me. If they fit my waist, they are huge on the calf and I look 50# heavier, if they fit the calf, they don't come close to closing on my waist, or in general, pants are almost always too long. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will have to go to the mall (shudder) to hit up Dress Barn to see what they have in petites. I have always found their salespeople to be very helpful and I usually find stuff I like there. I only really enjoy shopping if it is thrift shopping, it is like a treasure hunt and I get a rush when I find something that I like. Anyway, it is with great disapointment that I put the pretty, feminie skirts away and bring out the black socks. I know I have work to do to get over my prejudice of winter, especially since my husband seems to be making me feel like $hit everytime I mention living somewhere else. Looks like I have to compromise my dream for everyone else and while I'm still hurt/bitter a little, I realize that harboring those feelings, and having my hatred toward a season that lasts nearly half the year, is only making me feel worse. I can change that if I really work at it. I'm not sure I'm all the way there yet. I get cold so easily and I so detest driving in slippery conditions. It's a long-term goal I will have to work on.
I was in a bit of a funk when I got to work today. I open my store at 8:30 am, but my doctors and staff start seeing patients at 7:30am, so even though I am not required to be punched in until 8:15, I am usually at work earlier than that, to get stuff set up and occassionally do a touch up on my hair or put lotion on my face. It absolutely drives me nuts when people stalk my area waiting for me to open. HATE it. It is like they have no respect for my time. The lights are off, the computers aren't booted up, and some days, like today, I am rain-soaked and disheveled and I just need a few minutes to pull myself together. But I am an accomodating person, so with a grimace in my soul, I open up and let them in. It makes my morning feel off somehow, and it takes me a bit to get over it. Today I decided to try and let it go because what's the difference if they are here at 8:10 or 9:10, I am going to provide the same service to them regardless. I am just tired from not getting enough sleep last night, and I hate to say it but I feel like a cold virus is just waiting around the corner to strike.
I have noticed, over the past couple days, my mood has been a little less upbeat and I have also had a few moments where I have felt the urge to eat when I'm not hungry. I have found productive ways to avoid eating, by doing a task to keep me busy, chewing gum, or simply becoming aware that I am thinking about food but I'm not hungry. So far, these things help. I don't know if it'll last but it is a good start. I figure, the longer I can go without relapsing into old, autopilot ways, the better chance I have of making lasting changes.
I am not getting in any exercise and it's a little draining just thinking about it. When I do get a little free time, all I want to do is sink into a hot bubble bath either to warm up, relax or help my joints and muscles ache less. I know I am just slacking and I need to get things in order because we are moving (again) in early December. We are staying in the same complex, but due to our noisy selves, we were offered to move to a downstairs unit. I'd rather move than get kicked out, my kids cannot remember to walk quietly and not jump/run around with the dog. That means giving up our beautiful vaulted ceilings and huge floor-to-ceiling windows, but it's just not that big of a deal to me. It's not space we were using, and it will be less expensive to heat and cool. What I'm worried about is how my good knee sometimes hurts when I'm going down the stairs. I think it is due to a weak hip that I never nipped in the bud. I really don't want to damage the knee because I was too lazy to do what needs to be done. So, in the time between now and then, I am setting a goal for myself to do my hip and glute strenghtening moves I was assigned when I was seeing a physical therapist for my other knee. She, by the way, tested how weak my hip was and her immediate exclamation was to scrunch up her face and say, "OH OWWW! You must be in so much pain!" She told me my hip is weak on one side and my glutes are weak on the other. What a mess I must be! I think the bike will help too, so I better add a goal for that. Just off the top of my head, I will start by setting a goal of lower body physical therapy training 3x a week and getting on the bike for at least 10 minutes 2x a week. Low goals to start. I can use the bike as warm up and cool down, or just do it for cardio. I think I can exceed those goals, but right now my motivation to exercise is really low. I will get some mojo once I get started. At least for now, I have the food thing pretty much down. Adding such a small amount of exercise shouldn't be too tricky, right?