Rolling On

This weekend presented more opportunities to meet with my triggers, to test the waters on eating a little bit of carbs (not the sugary kind), and get some much needed rest. 
I've already established that coming home at night is a trigger for me, so I prep myself on the drive home, thinking about what I am going to have that is in my plan, and how good it will taste.  Friday night has, in the past, been a popular night for my family to go out to eat, but we stopped going out so much over the summer, we just could never agree on one place and by the time we thought about it for a while, everyone would sort of lose interest and go scavaging in the kitchen to find whatever sounded most palletable.  Still, Friday nights have the trigger of eating something different and tasty.  My husband had a commitment so I offered to make the kids spaghetti.  I had already planned ahead and gotten the whole grain, higher protein noodles in case my mind was playing spoiled child, but earlier in the week I'd seen a recipe for making "noodles" out of zucchini, so I figured I'd give it a try.  Now, I love my starchy carbs, but the zucchini noodles were very satisfying and easy to flavor.  It felt good to have something on-plan and still really savor it. 
Saturday I was in a bit of a funk.  In hindsite, I think I was pouting over having to go grocery shopping, and (even worse) lug all the heavy groceries up our (16) stairs.  My youngest son (11) likes to come help me shop.  He and I had gotten in a bad habbit of making a stop on the way to the grocery store, often for drinks, sometimes for snacks and lately, for breakfast, and usually by shopping day there's not a whole lot of appetizing foods left in the house for breakfast.   Well, not as appetizing as eating something else.  My breakfast was supposed to be eggs (at home) by my son absolutely hates the smell of eggs, almost to the point of making himself physically sick, so I didn't really want to do that to him, so I settled on a handful of macadamia nuts, knowing that in an hour or so, I'd be walking around the giant grocery store with my stomach growling, probably irritable and wanting to put every carb-loaded thing I could think of in the cart.  So we stopped at Subway for breakfast.  Subway is my weakness, and I don't even eat meat!  That bread and the fresh veggies are a carb-lovers dream.  But this time I decided to try my eggs in a tortilla wrap, assuming this was the lowest carb option (other than salad).  The tortilla itself was so huge I really could have taken half of it off and enjoyed it more.  It wasn't my fave, and while I was eating it, I thought how it wasn't really worth the carbs I was adding, but I knew it wasn't a big deal.  I wanted to see if I felt any different eating carbs.  I didn't notice a difference. 
After shopping, when the groceries are in the house, that's another major trigger for me, maybe the biggest one.  We have all gotten in the bad habbit of munching and nibbling on whatever snacks come into the house right away when they get there.  I allowed my son to pick out one sweet treat for he and his brother to share, and told them that they were only getting that one sweet treat, ( a package of Chips Ahoy! cookies with Reese's peanut butter cups baked in) and when it was gone, that was it.  They gobbled them up immediately, which actually made me releaved because I was really having a moment.  I adore their soft mushy texture and could smell the chocolate.  To keep myself from snaching one out of the bag, I ate some baked cheese.  Yes, the only ingredient is cheese, baked until it turns into a chip.  And it was delicious, but my brain was wanting to go off the deep end.  I kept snacking here and there on approved items, Skinny Girl lime and sea salt mini bag of popcorn, a few dry roasted peanuts, some coffee.  In the end, I ate way more calories by not allowing myself to have that cookie, but I knew if I had one sweet garbage treat it would turn into a mess with sugar cravings.  If I was going to do that, what was all last week's effort for? 
So I did my best to just relax and do enjoyable activities and eventually that feeling subsided.  My stomach was full and I was drinking a lot of water besides.  Later that evening, I ended up watching a really good movie called "Somm: Into the Bottle" about wine making around the world.  The scenery was amazing, the story was good, and by the end, I was craving a good glass of wine.  I ended up having a few glasses (yes, I know, carbs) and while it may have been more than I'd intended, I went to be feeling OK about taking a day to relax mentally and diet-wise, and still didn't go completely off the rails.  I got through it without eating processed sugars.  And Sunday was much easier to get/be on-track.  I kept busy with projects, cooking, cleaning, helping the kids get their homework done, got the dog to the park, etc.  And by the time I settled in to read a little before bed, I realized that I had had a perfectly on-plan day without any effort.  Keeping busy is definitely a great distraction.  The real take-away from the weekend is that I can eat certain carbs in moderation and not trigger cravings.  And, I can have an "off" day and still get right back on track as if it was planned.  I think it is going awesome right now.  I am so glad I decided to try again!


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