Balance

For some reason I was extra groggy and thick-headed when I woke up this morning and couldn't wait for my delicious cup of coffee with breakfast.  I am going on about 2 weeks solid of some mild, ear-related vertigo and it is really driving me nuts!  My sinuses are always somewhat full and it clogs my ear to the point that it makes me dizzy.
I knew, however, despite how I felt, once I was in my yoga groove everything would be OK.  Day 9 was about detox but she didn't really speak on it too much.  As usual, there were a lot of high lunges, downword dogs and forward folds.  The leg work felt harder today because my legs were pretty maxed out yesterday with the deep squats that we held for so long and a couple sets.  If I were a massage-getting type I would so treat myself to a massage right now!  But since I'm not (extremely ticklish) I will do some gentle, relaxing yoga stretches tonight to help work out the sore muscles.  I'm a little surprised I'm sticking to this for so long.  In this way, I think it's good to have structure.  I know I could take a day off to rest up, but I know myself, one day off leads to 3, and that leads to only working out once a week or maybe just giving up altogether.  There is a mental factor involved because doing this makes me feel like I am moving boulders and I feel like if I stop the momentum will be lost.  Of course, if my body gets too sore I will take a break but so far the soreness is tolerable.  My body will become accustomed to it at some point as my stregth improves.
I forgot to mention that I am also starting my transition to further weening myself off caffeine.  Last week and this week I am only having one 16 oz cup of coffee per day, next week I will transition to having one half cup of coffee per day.  When I feel like that is tolerable I will switch over to green tea.  I found a nice dandelion green tea that has 20mg of caffeine, I can cold brew it the night before or drink it hot in the morning.  I am content with that amount of caffeine daily, and green tea is good for a body so if that becomes my morning treat I am OK with it staying longterm.  Otherwise, if I start to find the bitterness of the tea unwelcome, I will stop drinking it altogether and will then be off caffeine.  I think if I keep myself active in the morning that can make me feel awake enough to eventually aid this process.  I am not villifying all caffeine, but as someone who has both high blood pressure and anxiety, maybe stimulants aren't the best thing for me. 
I have been doing well with the other goals I have set for myself as well, the better dental hygiene practices, not skipping flossing a couple times a week, using my tongue scraper more, etc.  I am making an effort to chew my food more and I feel like it is actually becoming a habit.  It makes me feel like I'm not just shoveling my food in like I'm afraid it's the last meal I'm ever going to have.  I am eating lower carb this week and my physical hunger is more apparent and I am waiting to feel that physical hunger before I eat, which is typically every 3 hours, sometimes sooner.  I am switching up my snacks a little, which is bringing my sodium intake down a bit.  Baby steps toward some of the goals I hope will be long-term lifestyle changes.
As I was getting ready for work this morning and thinking about the way taking care of myself makes me feel empowered and restores some vitality, I think about where I was and those who are now where I was before (and could and have slipped back to many times).  I have spent a lifetime feeling bad about stuff that happened when I felt I didn't have control over my life.  I have spent just as long blaming others or finding excuses to be easy on myself but none of that ever brought me comfort really, it led to the very things that make me feel pretty bad about myself.  At some point in our lives we have to pick our own selves up and take care of ourselves as a powerful message of self-love and self-importance.  My kids need me around so they need me to be healthy enough to make good decisions in life.  I am not perfect, no one is, there will be times when I forget this but I hope I can make some of this a habit so that if I start faltering, I have a new comfortable rut to fall into, one that includes self-care and balance. 

Comments

  1. I think you are doing an amazing job of stepping up to the plate and taking care of your business...your own personal self! Way to go you! Oh and I am super proud of you for sticking with the yoga. I haven’t even started it yet...but the more I read from you, the more interested I get!!

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    1. Thank you MaryFran, that means so much to me! This yoga instructor makes it really enjoyable and I think you will like it if you give it a try.

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  2. I find that success begets success- one good habit makes it easier to build another good habit and so on. It really does get easier as you move forward!

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    1. I agree, Neca. I have to fight my thoughts that pop up by rote that tell me to take it easy and eat some junk, especially when my life gets thrown into a whirlwind, but I know I am on the right track now.

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