Just Start

Today was day 3 of the yoga challenge and today's session focused more on balance and abs.  I have to be honest, my abs are either stronger than a lot of my other parts or I wasn't doing some things right, it didn't feel as challenging as all the leg stuff yesterday.  It was only 23 minutes today too, which made it feel like a breeze to get through.  We did do a stretch that made me aware of some stickiness in my hips though, so I may do some extra stuff with stretching them on their own.  All in all, I am actually starting to look forward to these little morning sessions, I like to see what moves she has in store for me and if I can do all the poses.  There is one where you lay on your back and lift your legs then raise your head to your knees, I came nowhere near my head actually touching my knees but I still got some good work from as far as I could go.  So yoga is going really good and I'm happy I decided to join this challenge. 
Today as I was getting ready for work I thought about my Past, Present, Future project I was going to do and that made me think of the book I'm currently reading, Brain Over Binge Recovery Workbook.  In the book the author explains that traditional talk therapy has told us that our eating disorder is caused by emotions we don't want to feel or by ineffective coping mechanisms, but it completely ignores that urges are biological and neuropsychological.  Meaning, we condition our bodies to not only anticipate the opportunity to activate the reward system, but by binging we actually give it a reward, activating the body's release of opioids.  The opioids make us feel calm and relaxed, so it becomes a reinforcer and then the brain is conditioned to seek it out and it does this by releasing dopamine, which motivates the urge.  So trying to sort through everything that hurt or bothered me when I was young isn't going to stop the urge to eat something that's bad for me or to go on a full-out binge.  The way to break the cycle is to break the connection of having emotions we don't want and rewarding those feelings with the food/opioids.  I didn't read last night so I won't comment more on that, I just thought about how I sort of abandoned the PPF project and why I am not continuing it at the moment. I don't want too many conflicting thoughts going on all at once.  Plus, with my mom sick, I don't really want to think about all the ways I feel like she failed or wronged me, whenever I start to feel something negative about my childhood I think to myself, they loved me the best way they knew how and I move on. I may examine these things more along the way, but I will approach it as a personal deficit and figure out what beliefs I am holding onto about myself that are keeping me from being truly happy, and then find affirmations or countering ideas that prove that I am not those horrible things my inner child believes I am.  That will be more healing than the blame-game.
I must admit that my body is a little sore from the yoga, even though it's only been 3 days.  I can feel that my shoulders abs and legs have been busy, and it's a good feeling.  It's nice to get some strength training without weights, I am pretty accident prone and am starting to get arthritis in my hands so holding dumbbells can be a bit of a drag.  I have also dropped 10 pound weight on my toe and broke it (I told you I'm clumsy) so the fact that yoga somehow makes me feel graceful and strong? A miracle!
Anyway, I'm still going strong and feeling good!  Starting was the hard part, now it's just rolling along!  So if you are reading and waiting for some magical inspiration outside of yourself, stop waiting.  Pretend as if you already do all the things you wish you did. Go for a walk, do some stretching, go swimming; just start. It gets easier as you go. 


  1. Good job for sticking to the yoga!!! A little soreness is good! As for the abs not being sore and the legs killing it...I imagine that they focus on different parts of your body each day! (I still haven’t checked it out...hopefully this weekend)

    1. MaryFran, you are right, there is a different focus each day and some are a little heavier focus on the core, which is good because mine is weak. I think you will like it if you give it a try!


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