Addicted...To Cardio??
I am starting to get addicted to walking on the treadmill. That is a bizarre confession for me, being that I used to detest the unnatural feeling of walking on one. This morning I woke nearly an hour earlier than needed, already excited about my workout. That is not normal, I realize, and I am taking it for the blessing that it is. I did an hour of low intensity interval cardio this morning, and as the TV they have in the room never seems to have a signal, I had a full hour to stare at the machine and formulate a plan. Challenge, it seems, really puts that sparkle in my eye, and drives me. Next week, I will try all four levels on the machine, fat burning, intermediate, advanced and interval. All of them actually have interval characteristics, in that the machine adjusts both the speed and incline after a set number of minutes, but they are all laid out differently. It will be an interesting experiment. I can tell which muscles got activated by the incline being increased the past two days. I think it will lead to a great looking lower body eventually.
I have been thinking a lot about body image lately. A couple weeks ago, when I was bingeing nearly non-stop, and my clothes fit snug and I was depressed about the turn I'd taken, when I looked at my body, I saw only bad. All the fat still hanging off my middle, my wrinkled, dry face, flabby legs and arms. All I could see was what I didn't like, and it made me feel like I was a failure and didn't have the strength to conquer my demons. Now that I have been on track for a few weeks, even after having an over-indulgent weekend, I can look at my body more objectively. Yes, I still don't like all the fat around my stomach(s) and on my hips, but I can actually see some shape taking form in the way of the start of some abs. No, not a six pack, not even a one-pack, but flatter in some areas that have never been flat. At least, not that I can recall. And when I was on the treadmill today, I tried to figure out what my goal weight should be, and I am thinking somewhere around 130 will be good for my height and desired muscle tone. That means that, as of today's weight, I only have 25 pounds left to lose. It hit me then, that more than the fact of it being years since I lost X amount of pounds, it has been years and years since I was only 25 pounds overweight. I remember my senior year of high school, I wanted to join the Army, and they told me to lose nine pounds and I felt like it was impossible. Back then it was popular myth that starving yourself, skipping breakfast, replacing several meals with rice cakes, and jogging would lead to a Twiggy-type physique, so I followed the flock. I lost five of the nine pounds in one week, then ended up bingeing for weeks after. And the lose-then-binge yo-yo-coaster was almost non-stop until I hit a major depression in college, then it was all binge for most of a decade. All of that led to my issues with hypertension and high cholesterol (and ignorance that it was the sugar-not the fat-consumption that was quietly killing me).
So here I am, finally kicking butt, and feeling great. I have been so much more happy and productive at work, and stress doesn't effect me as much when I am making healthy choices compared to when I am eating poorly and getting little movement. I have taken my health back, and that makes me nearly invincible. In the past (and even quite recently) I have been disappointed that motivation usually comes after starting, NOT before, but now I see it more as a tool in my repetoir. I know that once I begin to make a healthy choice, I am already on my way to where I want to go. Good choices build upon themselves. And simply making the decision to begin is one of the healthiest choices for mind and body. After all, how many people go to the trouble of dipping a foot in the pool, if they are not going to at least swim a lap or two?
This Thanksgiving, I am so grateful for my health. Many people say it, but it really means a lot to me that on the verge of really messing up my life, I can say I made the commitment to myself to not throw in the towel. I am also thankful to everyone who reads my modest little blog. I have surpassed a thousand page views, which seems a little surreal, but means the world to me. I appreciate all the support and understanding.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I have been thinking a lot about body image lately. A couple weeks ago, when I was bingeing nearly non-stop, and my clothes fit snug and I was depressed about the turn I'd taken, when I looked at my body, I saw only bad. All the fat still hanging off my middle, my wrinkled, dry face, flabby legs and arms. All I could see was what I didn't like, and it made me feel like I was a failure and didn't have the strength to conquer my demons. Now that I have been on track for a few weeks, even after having an over-indulgent weekend, I can look at my body more objectively. Yes, I still don't like all the fat around my stomach(s) and on my hips, but I can actually see some shape taking form in the way of the start of some abs. No, not a six pack, not even a one-pack, but flatter in some areas that have never been flat. At least, not that I can recall. And when I was on the treadmill today, I tried to figure out what my goal weight should be, and I am thinking somewhere around 130 will be good for my height and desired muscle tone. That means that, as of today's weight, I only have 25 pounds left to lose. It hit me then, that more than the fact of it being years since I lost X amount of pounds, it has been years and years since I was only 25 pounds overweight. I remember my senior year of high school, I wanted to join the Army, and they told me to lose nine pounds and I felt like it was impossible. Back then it was popular myth that starving yourself, skipping breakfast, replacing several meals with rice cakes, and jogging would lead to a Twiggy-type physique, so I followed the flock. I lost five of the nine pounds in one week, then ended up bingeing for weeks after. And the lose-then-binge yo-yo-coaster was almost non-stop until I hit a major depression in college, then it was all binge for most of a decade. All of that led to my issues with hypertension and high cholesterol (and ignorance that it was the sugar-not the fat-consumption that was quietly killing me).
So here I am, finally kicking butt, and feeling great. I have been so much more happy and productive at work, and stress doesn't effect me as much when I am making healthy choices compared to when I am eating poorly and getting little movement. I have taken my health back, and that makes me nearly invincible. In the past (and even quite recently) I have been disappointed that motivation usually comes after starting, NOT before, but now I see it more as a tool in my repetoir. I know that once I begin to make a healthy choice, I am already on my way to where I want to go. Good choices build upon themselves. And simply making the decision to begin is one of the healthiest choices for mind and body. After all, how many people go to the trouble of dipping a foot in the pool, if they are not going to at least swim a lap or two?
This Thanksgiving, I am so grateful for my health. Many people say it, but it really means a lot to me that on the verge of really messing up my life, I can say I made the commitment to myself to not throw in the towel. I am also thankful to everyone who reads my modest little blog. I have surpassed a thousand page views, which seems a little surreal, but means the world to me. I appreciate all the support and understanding.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I always enjoy reading your posts, keep up the good stuff. And Happy American tradition based holiday to you too.
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