Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Hallowine

My weekend, sought after as it was, was not relaxing or restful.  I really need to stop that, but it was for good cause.  My landlady came to look at our place on Monday, to make sure she could give us the OK to move into a lower unit.  So, my entire weekend was spent cleaning and organizing my apartment.  We got approved, our place was sparkling clean (which I will admit it never is) but it was at the cost of my already tired body.  I did the opportunity to get in 2 sessions of physical therapy exercises, so that part of the goal panned out.  And, in organizing my bedroom closet, I came across a bunch of clothes I had stored away from last time I lost a bunch of weight.  There were some really cute clothes in there, and it got me excited to see that I have a cute/cool wardrobe waiting for me when I get there again.  I was even able to pull out one really cute little sweater that I can layer with now, and that got my creative juices flowing for clothes again.  I go through phases where I either care/am excited about clothes, or I just want whatever fits and is most comfortable.  Fall and winter typically end up being the comfort-seeking seasons for me, because I feel like absolutely nothing looks good on me if it includes pants.  I am trying to figure out how to wear my skirts all winter long, but with snow often up to or over the knees, I just don't forsee it happening.  Humbug!
My weekend eating was a mix of good and not so good.  I had pizza (Domino's my favorite) on Friday.  It tasted pretty good, but it's something I just haven't been craving.  I was satisfied after two pieces even though my tastebuds told me to have more.  I considered it fairly easy to walk away from it, though it has been a trigger for me in the past, I used to eat until I was uncomfortable, 3 sometimes 4 pieces.  I did eat some leftovers the next day too.  But while my kids were eating baked fries and vegetarian chicken fingers/turkey cutlets, I decided it was worth it to cook a separate meal for my husband and I, so I made quinoa with spinach, feta, meatless 'beef' crumbles and our favorite sauce.  It was pretty tastey!  Yesterday since I was off, my husband and I went to vote, then caught a quick lunch at one of our favorite cafes.  They have changed their menu and only had one vegetarian option (portabella burger) which I wasn't in the mood for, so I had a tuna wrap.  It was just OK, kind of dry because they didn't use any mayo in the tuna.  I'm sure it was much healthier than a greasy, cheese-laden grilled mushroom burger.  Maybe not.  I didn't care, I was out to lunch with my handsome husband, enjoying our time together.  I only ate half for lunch and a few kettle chips, saving the rest of the wrap for dinner.  At least I didn't have to cook! 
I had 3 glasses of wine on Sunday evening and I have discovered that anything more than 2 makes me feel dizzy the next day, so from now on, that will be my cut-off point for wine.  I do like the idea of having half a glass with dinner sometimes, but it is definitely not an every day thing for me.  My husband and I were joking about how we could never be the kind of couple that has a wine rack because when wine comes into our house, it gets finished too fast to even sit in a rack. 
Maybe we shouldn't be so proud of that, but at least it's not beer!   All joking aside, I think the wine for me, is becoming a replacement for food, in that I am looking for a little relaxation or numbness (lets face it, that's why we drink right?) but at least I don't crave it and ruminate on it like I used to do with candy.  In fact, I don't have a tough time talking myself out of wine, especially if I have to be the one to run and get it.  Anyway, between the garbage I used to eat and wine, I think the wine is the better choice. 
I have been making a nightly habit of drinking hot tea though, and that feels like a warm hug.  I am trying a new one this week:
I put a little liquid stevia in and a splash of sugar-free vanilla creamer and it tastes SOOOooooo good!  And tumeric supposedly has multiple health benefits.  I have an on-again/off-again relationship with hot tea, but right now with the cooler temperatures, I am really enjoying a hot drink in the evenings while I relax before bed.  I have also been taking better care of my skin, particularly on my face, as the cooler temperatures do make my skin so dry, especially around my eyebrows and where my glasses sit.  I got a good mud mask treatment and a deep moisturizing mask for my face and wow does my skin look and feel so much better! 
It's amazing that such little changes can make such a dramatic impact; maybe that's what this whole thing is about, little by little, change by change, making small steps and testing out what works for me.  I am still free from sweets, though it was tough to resist the Snickers and Twix we had laying around for trick-or-treaters that never came.  I am doing so much better not eating that stuff, I feel like eating some is throwing in the towel.  I may have some pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, but if I do it will be a thin slice or I'll just sneak a bite of my husband's.  I don't want to have to fight so hard against the sugar cravings again.  I am quite enjoying the peace that not craving sugars affords me.  I think I can reserve them for special occassions or special treats.  That's how it's supposed to be, right?
Halloween seemed a little flat for me this year, so much else going on and my heart was heavy remembering my friend who passed earlier this year.  This was her absolutely favorite time of year, her eyes would glow with excitement.  I lit a candle for her and my other dear friend who passed some years back, but I didn't let myself mourn yet.  I don't know what I'm afraid of or waiting for.  I can only trust that it will happen when I'm ready. 
I'm happy to have a short week ahead of me, and look!  Tuesday's work day is almost done already.  I think I can make it through this work week relatively unscathed. I think I can.

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