Friday, November 25, 2016

I Ate the Pie and it was GOOD

I have a love-hate relationship with Black Friday.  My hate is that I work retail, selling eyeglasses in a health clinic, so it is really unpredictable how busy it will be.  I always imagine it being so busy that I don't get a lunch break, and can't keep up with the work flow or get out on time, but it is rarely like that in reality.  The build-up in my mind is often met with extreme boredom and restlessness when instead of being uber busy I am literally waiting for the rush that never comes.  I don't imagine eyeglasses are something on the top of people's mind on Black Friday, especially because it's a gift you don't wrap up, but give to yourself.   And, I imagine people spend enough money on Christmas shopping early in the morning and are broke or exhausted by the time I open up at 8:30.  I enjoy a slower work pace, in general, so I can handle a trickle of people throughout the day.  No matter what, it is FRIDAY and I am looking forward to having a weekend of relaxation. 
The thing I love about Black Friday is that the stress and obligation of Thanksgiving is over.  Stress over food.  What will I eat?  What should I eat?  What did I eat?  Food, food, food.  A holiday focused on food.  Wait, that's all holidays in one aspect or another, right?  I told myself I wasn't going to stress out about food and I didn't really.  I have been a lot more lax this week in general, but I did eat a little cheese before heading to my mother-in-law's house to hopefully help me contain myself.  I ate turkey, a little stuffing (because it also had meat in it, which I'm not a huge fan of) about half a cup of potatoes with gravy, a dinner roll and some raw veggies.  And I had pumpkin pie for dessert.  Man, that tasted super sweet and the texture was divine.  I love pumpkin pie.  A while after eating that, I had a butterscotch spice cookie.  It was overly sweet to me, and the sugars left a globby thick phlem at the back of my throat, which I really dislike.  Then, as I was sitting at the table drinking ice water like I was recovering from a week in the desert, I started getting a strange jittery feeling, the way you feel when you are sick.  I was feeling fine otherwise, so I attributed it to my body reacting to the sugars.  Yuck!  I hated how that felt.  Despite that, which went away within about a half hour, a few hours later at home, I had another half piece of pumpkin pie that was sent with us.  It was just as tastey.  All that food sat like a brick in my stomach, something I haven't felt since I started eating lighter, and it really made my stomach feel bad this morning.  So, I am really happy Thanksgiving is over.  And this one in particular taught me that, even though it tastes good, my body physically doesn't like eating that stuff; I feel much better when I don't.  Not only did it make me feel bad physically, but emotionally this morning, as I caught myself being harsh in my head as I looked in the mirror.  Days like these, I just want to be comfortable, to hide and rest and not think or do.  Usually it takes a day like that to make me regroup and reset and get ready to start fresh. 
At very least, I think I am figuring out what I can eat without triggering cravings for sweets, and what makes me feel OK and what doesn't.  The struggle to find healthy, pallatable foods every week continues.  When I go shopping, and am surrounded by all the healthy choices I could ever want, I get excited about being healthy, but during the week, at work especially, it is hard to eat some of the things I thought I wanted, and the cleaner the food, the fast I get sick of it.  I just need to figure some things out menuwise.  Sometimes I wish I could just pop a "food pill" and not have to worry about eating.  Then again, there are "diets" built around deciding for you (like meal replacement shakes).  I can see how that'd get old really fast.  I just have to be creative and put time into finding some good recipes.  There's so much out there that it gets overwhelming really fast, but I think I am going to try and incoorporate more veggies again next week.  I don't think my last effort was a fair test, because I was suffering from PMS at the time.  I am also thinking of getting up at 4:30am instead of 5am to get some sort of exercise in.  My husband is awake using the stationary bike at that time of the morning, so that won't be an option except on his days off, but there are plenty of other things I can do like dance, strength training, stretching/yoga or a DVD program.  I know it will make me feel better physically and mentally, especially with my snow anxiety.  It's an ideal right now, not something I think is going to happen immediately.  Like my eating, I am not going to stress out about it or feel bad if I don't do it.  I have to keep reminding myself this isn't about my appearance, it's about my health and my longterm happiness.  Stress does not make me happy or healthy. 
Well, I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and here's to the start of another weekend!

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