Monday, November 14, 2016

Restful Weekend. Finally

The weekend was one of much-needed rest, downtime.  It is always bittersweet, feeling like I need and deserve a break, but the guilt of not doing all the things I usually do and seeing the house messier than I like it because I took a break, it depresses me a little.
Things I did:
Spent a lot of time on my phone:
   Watching the protests
    Researching groups
    Signing petitions
   Watching Michael Moore interviews
    Finding my state and local democratic offices and groups and joining
    2.5 mile walk with my dog
    Bathe my dog
   Minimal housework
    Mud mask facial and hot bath
    Lots of stretching
    Bought a new printer and new calendar
    Made a couple easyand clean recipes for work
  Ummm, that was about it.  I really rested a lot.  My house shows it, but I do feel a little rejuvenated in mind and body.  This election stuff has really gotten to me, I am getting a little wrapped up in it and I'm surprised how much I care about it, it's not very characteristic of me.  I do think being involved more will be good for my kids to see.  I have always been standing just outside that circle of people who are doing things, afraid to jump in and roll up my sleeves.  Now I am going to take steps to make sure I put my money where my mouth is and get involved.  It's a crazy time for our country but good things are coming of it.  People are becoming more educated on how politics work in this country, learning who their representatives are and the roll they play, and rising up.  Its sad that it had to turn violent in some areas, but people want their voices heard.  Today as I sat looking at more stuff, joining more democratic groups, it dawned on me that my intended career change to helping less fortunate people, either with special needs, disabilities, financial or housing struggles, or aging; the jobs in those fields don't pay very well (at least the ones I've seen posted with wage in my area).  Maybe I can volunteer in those fields and find a job in another field.  Not that I mind what I am doing now, I like being an optician, but I am feeling a little burnt-out on it after nearly 16 years in the field.  I'm not sure how long my current passion for politics will last, but it did make me take note of it. 
All that stuff aside, despite feeling pretty relaxed this weekend, I found myself having that feeling of wanting to eat when I wasn't hungry.  I solved that by eating popcorn (not the worst thing as far as snacks go), cheese cheese and more cheese (have I told you how much I love cheese?) yogurt and some Doritos.  I even finally tried a little bit of sweets.  I had 5 gummy bears and one peppermint oreo cookie on Saturday, fairly close together, and 4 more gummy bears on Sunday.  I did not notice any cravings afterword, so that was a good test.  Not that I plan on eating that stuff with reckless abandon, but it was interesting to see that I can handle a little bit, in the instances that I am faced with a wicked craving.  Fortunately I haven't had any cravings that are not maneagable so far.  With this new, low-stress approach to eating, I don't really worry about having something like chips or candy every once in a while.  That is how people eat, isn't it?  Or how we are told we should eat, healthy most of the time, with the allowance of a special treat here and there. 
My menu last week left a lot to be desired in the way of produce, so I upped the ante in a huge way this week, adding egg muffins with bell pepper and tons of mushrooms, sugar snap peas with white bean dip as a snack, a mexican chopped salad for lunches (greens, black beans, corn, spinach, red onion, tomato and guac with a touch of mexican spice), veggie burger with a whopping serving of spinach and tomatoe for dinner and apples with peanut butter for my bedtime snack.  I have greek yogurt still in place for a second work snack too, I like it and it is convenient.  So, it is a more thoughtful menu, more nutrition and less grains.  I want to see if having less complex carbs makes me have more energy.  I have been tested for gluten intolerance and it came out negative, so I know I'm not sensitive to gluten, but I think I am sensitive to carbs in a way that too many makes me feel tired, even if they are complex.  So this week with lower carbs is a bit of an experiment.  I think experimenting is crucial to long-term success.  Had I questioned the psychology of dieting sooner, I probably would be leading a normal, healthy life by now instead of worrying about how to undo the damage I've done and stave off long-term health risks.  But, what I'm doing is working.  My clothes and rings are getting looser and I can see my stomach slowly flattening.  It feels great to be having things moving in the right direction again.  Crossing my legs is also getting a little easier.  I am not just flipping my leg in place like I used to at 152 pounds, but I don't have to hold my leg to get it to stay in place anymore either, so it feels like slow and welcome progress.  I will use my yearly physical exam, the bloodwork and blood pressure as measures as to how I'm doing, since my health is truly what's driving this bus (this time).  However my numbers look on Dec 15 when I go for my physical, I will try to improve them by Dec 2017.  I will be turning 45 at the end of 2017,  I imagine where I'm at at that point will be a good indication of how the rest of my years will go.  An interesting side note, my doctor that I had the past few years moved away and I was left to choose another doctor.  I searched a lot and found a female doctor who is overweight.  I feel a little ashamed to admit it, but I felt like being that she is also overweight she might be more compassionate and understanding.  Is that lame?  I made the appointment a couple months ago, and just really didn't want to hear a lecture on how my BMI is too high and I need to eat more vegetables and exercise more.  To be honest, I haven't heard that lecture in quite some time, and I find it strange.  Maybe because I go to doctors who work for the same company as I do, or maybe it's just how our doctors handle things, to not be offensive.  It is a touchy subject. 
Anyway, this post has rambled on too long and doesn't really say much.  Maybe I should practice more abbreviated writing, but maybe, who cares.   It's my place to express my thoughts, and I have a lot of them apparently.  I appreciate you for stopping by to join in the madness!

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