The past two days I have been feeling so good! I feel like my plateau is finally starting to budge, and I am noticing subtle changes taking place. My metabolism has sped up, and with it, my energy level is fairly high; my mood elevated to contented glow. I am finally honoring my committment to myself, and the rewards are magnificent! I have a lot more self-esteem and even feel graceful, which is a word I never would have imagined using to describe myself. Everything takes a lot less effort these days, and that is a nice feeling. The weight loss in my face and neck/collarbone area has me looking younger and healthier. Today as I gussied myself up to deliver a resume, I looked in the mirror and genuinely thought I look cute! I have been sticking to my plan pretty religiously since last week, and I think changing things up has been a great catalyst for my additional loss this week. I won't record the weight loss officially until Monday, since there are hormonal factors in place right now (wink!), but I am pleased with my recent weigh-ins, and have a renewed excitement.
I got some bad news yesterday, that my appeal for unemployment benefits was denied on a technicality. I was really crushed inside. All the negative thoughts and feelings of being a burden on my husband returned, and my mood dipped for a few hours last night. The temptation was strong to just give in to comfort food, to drown my apathy in fat. I even considered drinking some wine, which is allowed in moderation, but I knew that if I had one glass, I wouldn't stop until I was numb. So, I just reminded myself of my blessings, my family. And, today I got up and made an attempt to make things happen, knowing that I will not be jobless forever, someone will see the greatness in me and give me a chance. I made the decision to focus on the positive things that are happening right now, and not let the other stuff get me down. When I first met my husband I was so dark inside, and he taught me that Rastafari never stress out. In my exuberance just to be in his presence, I started working toward achieving the whole mysterious act of not stressing out. I allowed myself to stop and enjoy a moment in the sun when it was shining, and appreciate the cleansing of rain-filled days. It was the deepest peace I have ever known, and now, ten years later, I realize that stress and peace are both options waiting for us every minute of the day, we just have to make the committment to chose the more productive of the two, and stick to it. Which one are you choosing?