The weekend felt like it was never going to end for me, and I am so happy it is finally Monday again. For me, that means a few hours of silence/freedom while my kids are at school. After being moody and burnt-out on Saturday, I was dreading going to the birthday party we'd already RSVP'd to, but I reluctantly dragged myself along with my family. It was for the daughter of the lady who used to babysit my boys when I was working. The house was full of noisy kids running up and down the stairs, chasing the dog and squealing. It was quite a spectacle! It also marked the first time I have seen someone who hasn't seen me at this weight. The babysitter asked, "So, did you lose a bunch of weight or what?" I said yes. I wasn't sure if she said that because she'd seen my pics on Facebook, or if she could tell by looking at me, as I had a baggy zip-up sweater on, but it was nice to have someone other than my husband say it; someone who knows me.
Yesterday (Sunday) I was testing out the waters to see if I was going to do my weight work or not. Then I made a big hypocrite of myself. After all that preaching about not using foreign chemicals just for the sake of improving one's outter image, I took one of my husband's fat burners. He was telling me how awesome they make him feel, and the great workout he gets because of it, so I took half a dose (1 pill). A half hour later I was in the middle of one of my most intense workouts yet. They keep getting more and more intense. I felt pretty good afterwords, but I don't plan on taking any more of those, I just wanted to try it. I will never hide the fact that I am a caffeine addict and will probably always enjoy the way caffeine makes me feel. Right now, I drink about 4 cups of coffee each morning, sometimes more. Anyway, I worked out hard yesterday, despite telling myself I need a break.
Today I was woken early again, my youngest is starting to develope a nasty habit of waking up at 5:30 AM. Despite getting a fair amount of sleep, I felt so drained this morning that I wanted to do nothing more than spend the entire day on the couch. Even with that in the back of my head, I was still leaving room in my plans to sneak in a workout. Its like I feel if I take a break for a day or two, that everything I've gained will be lost, and that is dangerous thinking. So to occupy myself I wasted some time going thrift shopping. I found some cute things, and it wasted more time than I meant to. It was so tempting to stop somewhere to get some food, but I resisted. It is one thing to give yourself the day off of training, to heal your body, its quite another to indulge in things you don't need on top of it. So, I have decided that I am going to take today and tomorrow off of exercise, but keep my diet right on track, then if I feel rested by Wednesday I will begin again.
Today, Dr. Ruth was on the Nate Berkus show, and Nate was helping her to redecorate her apartment. She is quite a fascinating person. She said that her father was taken by nazis and she was sent to live in Switzerland, an orphan. She is also a sniper, who would've thought? Anyway, Dr. Ruth has a lot of turtle decorations in her house and she explained why she loves turtles, because if they want to go somewhere, they have to stick their necks out and become completely vulnerable. What a cool thought! And now, in some ways, we who dream big truly do live like turtles! Happy Monday everyone!