Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Bigger Life

I was thinking about my Monday morning triceps/chest workout and found humor in the fact that the past two Mondays have been really bad hair days because by the time I get around to fixing my hair, my arms are so trashed that it feels unnatural to lift them, so my hair looks pretty horrible on triceps days.  For the most part, while all the muscles I am working are getting sore, the triceps are the ones I have neglected the most, and they stay sore the longest.  But that is also a huge problem area on my body, I hate those saggy underarms that keep jiggling after you're done waving.  So, as the saying goes, the only way out is through. 
Today was back and biceps.  I was able to use more weight on some of the back exercises, and felt awesome about finally making the mind-muscle connection on the dumbbell rows!! I have been doing them for more than a year, and it has always been difficult for me to feel which muscle I should be working, but today I was not only able to feel that muscle group, but squeeze them for every rep.  I felt the blood rush into the muscles, and it felt so good!  I'm not going to lie, this is HARD WORK, but what keeps me going, is knowing that this work is going to bring about results.  I can't believe the difference already. 
Being on a structured plan is helping me learn a lot about myself.  This morning I was thinking about the weekend before I started the Live Fit program.  My husband and I were going somewhere and I told him about how great I'm going to look when I'm done, because I already have all the tools I need, namely genetics that want to build muscle.  He jokingly challenged me, saying I wasn't going to surpass him, but to give it my best shot, 'lets see what you're made of!'  What I realized this morning is, there is a difference between the confidence I have when I am beginning something I believe will excell at vs trying to force myself what I know I should do.  The difference is huge.  When I am trying to do something just because I know I should, because I don't like being fat, my self-dialogue is usually very negative.  Look at this hideous body!  How could I let it get this bad?!  I am going to end up leaving my kids motherless at an early age.  I need to change this before it gets any uglier.  But when I am about to tackle a goal, one that is challenging, but one I believe I can conquer anyway, the self dialogue is much more confident and positive.  Ok, this is where I'm starting from, and I can go where ever I want from here.  I am shaping my own destinyI have this in the bag.  And my mantra makes its reappearance: I'VE GOT MORE IN ME!  One more rep, one more workout, more heart, more reasons, more drive, more inspirations.  I'm not done yet, I'm still working on this.   And I'm going to challenge myself to use this program to help me get some serious results.  I know I won't be at my dream physique in just 12 weeks, but this program isn't intended to make obese people fitness models, it is designed to create healthy habits in eating and moving.  When it is done, I will keep building on it, changing the workouts but still challenging myself, and eating relatively the same.  It was a huge deal for me to not have a cheat meal over the weekend, especially since I was going from near-binge-type eating on the weekends to not really cheating at all last weekend.  I think I need this program to help me get out of the habits I have been letting slowly creep back into my life without giving it much thought. 
My husband has been going through some personal trials with his budding modelling career, and he is being forced to make some pretty big decisions about whether or not to continue in the business.  My advice to him was something that I can also apply to my journey as well: Whenever you are attempting to do something BIGGER than the life you've been living, there will always be discomfort, there will always be unknowns, but sometimes living in the comfort of the life you know is a detriment.  Besides, that old, comfortable/familiar life will always be a fall-back waiting there if you need to resort back to it.  Truth is, most people aren't really that comfy in their familiar lives, most people would change some things if they had the opportunity, but we settle into what we know, because we don't have to think that much, or challenge anyone/thing, or struggle for results.  There have been a few times when I think of how comfy it would be to just sit on the couch and watch TV and chow down on some junk food to my heart's desire.  Then I think about how that would make me feel after, mentally and physically and I have to challenge my deceptive mind and ask, is that really comfy?  No, but it is what I know, and it is easy to not have to think, to worry about what I'm putting in my mouth, to not have to plan out when to wake up in order to accomodate a workout.  For years I have mistaken my laziness for comfort.  True, it is easier to not have to work at making any kind of change, but staying in the same, miserable place is not comfortable.  So for me, one of the biggest things I have learned about taking on this journey in the first place is, despite the bumps in the road, the struggle is worth the reward.  And the best reward is not the option to be lazy but the gift of being proud of your own accomplishments. 
Are you believing in yourself?  It's the best way to get started! 
Hope you're having an uplifting Tuesday!  Thanks for reading!

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