Doubt Cracks the Mind

I will admit, my mind is starting to show a few cracks these days.  Not the kind that drive me to pretend I'm a fictitious comic book character and go on a shooting spree, but the kind that says, wow, this program might be too much for me.  This is the first week of muscle-build, which means heavier weight and lower reps.  I think that even my eyebrows are sore!  I will say, since I figured out my sleep issues were the result of hunger, I have slept like a baby this week, but the downside of that is, when the alarm goes off, my body wants to keep sleeping.  Completely natural, but it's a little frustrating.  The part that is starting to trip me up right now is that my hamstrings are still pretty sore from Monday's workout, and now the program is calling for me to train them again tomorrow.  As I stumbled out of bed today, and even while bending to put my shoes on, I wondered how I was going to pull that off.  And that is when the doubt began to creep in.  Am I fit enough to keep up with this?  And if I don't follow the program now, how am I going to keep up with the following weeks?  What if I do a different body part tomorrow?  Well my answer to that is, all my body parts are sore, but the legs were the least recently trained, so I guess that makes sense to train them tomorrow.  I could have chosen the "lagging bodypart of choice to train tomorrow, but that becomes tricky, needing to let the muscles recover at least a full day, and as I said, everything else is still sore.  So I will give it my best effort to train these sore tree-trunk legs tomorrow, and stay on track.  To be honest, I wouldn't mind seeing my glutes lift a little by the end of this.  I hate my rearview!
As for my upper body, I think it is in identity crisis!  I am seeing more muscle and definition of course, but I also look a little bulky.  As I said before, I am built very solid, have always had broad shoulders and a tendancy to gain easily.  As a teenager I was aware about how hairy and solid I was, and joked about having too much testosterone.  That is just my genetics.  Most girls I grew up with had dainty features, thin arms and legs and I was aware early on that I wasn't the same, my legs were always big, but not fat.  It didn't help matters that I was much shorter than everyone else, so my muscular legs looked even more out of place.  But now I am learning to embrace them, I know it is muscle, and having strong legs makes life easier.  The bulk I'm noticing isn't really bulk.  I think it is the result of having new beautiful muscles growing, but they're still covered in some fat, so they can't shine.  I know they will, it's just a matter of time! 
I weighed myself today, not at all concerned with what the result was (166.4) but just to see what was going on in that area.  I am probably repeating myself but, this is not a weight loss program, it is designed to get you lean by building muscle.  You won't see huge changes in the scale because muscle wieghs more than fat, and if you are following the program and working at the right intensity, there's no way you are building muscle!  And the best part, lean muscle mass burns fat just by having it on your body.  So, let the fat-burn begin.
My metabolism has been so crazy revved up on this program, and since I'm eating so clean, I am really in tune with my body's needs during the day.  I can tell that it is time to eat before I even look at the clock, because I start to feel my engine winding down a bit.  I'm sure that is my body making the effort to repair the muscles.  Did you know that your muscles actually heal/repair/grow while you are at rest, not while you are working them?  Some people I talk to had no idea that was the case.  That's why you need to allow proper rest time between training the same muscle group. 
I know my body will adapt to a heavier load, I haven't been pushing myself like this in a long time.  Today will be about stretching out my sore muscles, resting/relaxing as much as I can, and getting plenty of fluids to prep for tomorrow's leg day.  I'll be sure to report how it went!
Hope your Wednesday's wonderful!


  1. It sounds like you are getting results so you must be fit enough for this program. Everyone doubts themselves at some point, keep on with it.

    1. Thanks again for the support. I've never lifted so much and so often so It's all new to me.


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