In Case You're Not Selected For the Biggest Loser

My weekend was...(searching for the proper word here)...ecclectic, but I survived to blog about it, so everything is relative. 
My transition into the weekend was blissfully started by an early release at work, due to an excess of hours logged.  I didn't tell my husband that I got done two hours early, and spent the day wondering what I should do with those two hours of all-too-rare me time.  I opted to go to the library, to seek out a book about weight loss.  Not the thrilling adventure some would have opted for, but racing out to the car just before the parking meter expired did provide a slight elevation in pulse.  The book I was checking into was one I'd seen others mentioning in the comment section of a popular weight loss blog.  This book and it's author was mentioned 3 times in the comments of one single blog entry, so I decided to check into it.  I won't go into details about the book or the author, so as not to offend, but it just wasn't for me.  In researching this author, someone had reviewed the book and reported that his idea about exercise is that it doesn't burn fat, it just makes you hungry.  Really?  What about your heart being a muscle?  It needs to be worked in order to stay strong.  All muscles atrophy if not used, why would your heart be any different?  So, frankly, I already knew I wasn't going to read the book before I even began.  The diet portion of the book, which was published in 2008, was quite similar to the Atkins diet, in that it highlighted proteins and fats and discouraged high carb intake.  That is the basis of most dietary advice, in some form, these days, right?  The more we learn about essential fatty acids, the more we see diets that include coconut oil, and macadamia nut oil and flax.  The brain is 60% fat, so consuming essential fatty acids helps protect the brain. 
I digress.  I knew the book wasn't for me, so I searched for something else that could inspire me or give me something else to try.  I looked at another book, to be honest I don't recall the name or the author.  This one had something called the Simeon method, but it was noted that it was modified.  On phase one, you had 28 things you needed to change every single day in order to have total health.  28!  These things included removing the metals from your body, killing the candidia yeast, and meditation.  To be honest, as I scanned the list of all the things you were supposed to do, I was overwhelmed just reading them, I can't imagine spending the time and money to buy all the things he was recommending.  I laughed to myself and put it back on the shelf.  Great for people who are disciplined, but then again, if someone is disciplined, why do they need a weight loss book?
The third book that caught my eye, turned out to be the charm.  At first, I was a little put-off because it was written by the first female winner of the Biggest Loser, Ali Vincent.  Don't get me wrong, I like that show just fine, and find it very inpirational.  But sometimes people who have lost weight quickly and publicly tend to be a little over-peppy for my taste.  I don't want to hear just the good stuff, I want to hear the struggle so I know that it is posible to get through it.  So I know that I can do it.  It isn't a very long book so I decided to give it a try.  I like personal stories, I like going along for the journey.  The book is called Believe it, Be it!  and I have to say, I read it over the weekend, and I'm happy I did.  It was really eye-opening to learn about the show and the 8-10 hours of workouts they were required to do every day (you read that right!  How do you think they lose so much every week?!) but what I really enjoyed about the book is how Ali shares her ugly past with us, and tells us her mindset as she took on the challenges that eventually earned her her new physique.  It really made me think about how little I've been trying to make my goal  happen.  Granted, I don't think it's healthy for a person to workout for that many hours per day.  Let's face it, it's a TV show and they are looking for dramatic results.  But for me, I have merely been coasting on autopilot. 
I spent much time thinking about my future in this struggle, and thinking about the courage and conviction I need to get things moving in a positive motion.  I don't know the dirty little hurtful things I will need to address before I acquire that strength, but I know that my situation is reversible.  And that is uplifting.
My eating was horrific this wekeend, and I realized that comprised nearly 50% of an entire week, so as good as I felt I was doing last week, I can only say I was on-track for little more than half of that time.  That leaves much room for improvement.  I am starting to look at Monday mornings as a fresh start or a do-over on my diet, but it should be perpetually-clean eating with an occasional treat, not junk-fest all weekend, then do-over on Monday.  I also need to stop using food as a celebration (holiday this week, might complicate things) and as a stress reliever (sometimes I don't know whether I hate my kids' autism or ADHD more).  Much more work to be done, but I feel ready to face my demons right now.  I hate not being able to move as easily, and not being able to cross my legs like I used to, and the whole business of sucking air just from a walk up a flight or two of stairs?  Not acceptable in my book.  I will figure this thing out.  I will conquer my demons.  I have faith that one day I will have the health I deserve, and I am the one who determines what that outcome will be by what I invest. 


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