Monday, December 27, 2010

Good Riddance, Christmas!

So, all things considered, in the past five days, there is only one that I am not particularily proud of myself.  Though I missed four workouts over the holidays, I kept my eating pretty clean.  I noticed that I was giving myself a little of that good old fashioned holiday justification, and while I knew I'd have to answer to the scale this morning, I indulged a little bit.
Victories:  At all three of my actual functions, I did just what I said I was going to do, eat mostly proteins and a few extra fats but try to avoid the sugary carbs.  The one exception was when the most adorable eight year old handed me a piece of her mom's chocolate covered toffee, and begged me to try it.  It was only the size of my pinky fingernail, and I felt obligated so I ate it.  I vowed to not let it throw me off course, and it didn't.
Failure:  After all the celebrations were over, and the kids were content to play with all their new things, my husband and I settled in and had a glass of my dad's hand crafted wine that he makes.  Man, he is really an amazing wine maker!  We enjoyed a glass of his Red Cherry wine, which is made with pounds and pounds of fresh cherries.  I am allowed an occassional glass of wine on South Beach, so I didn't feel guilty in the least.  In fact, it tasted so good that I had another.   And when I was in the kitchen pouring that second glass, I felt compelled to eat the two rum balls that were in the plate of Christmas goodies we were gifted, so the kids don't accidentally eat them, I told myself.  That lead to the eating of a peppermint meringue.  Then, a dear friend of my husband invited him to come enjoy some time together on the holiday, he was visiting from Las Vegas and his family has always been so welcoming to us.  So my husband left.  I told myself I wasn't going to have anymore sweets, so I made a bag of popcorn.  By then, the wine had gone to my head and I was feeling so relaxed and quite uninhibited where food was concerned.  I ate 3/4 of a "mini" bag of popcorn before handing off the rest to my son.  That salt had me wanting something sweet, so I ate 3-4 more cookies and a bar.  As I was eating them, I could hardly even taste them (except for that meringue, that was really good)  and I was thinking, what the heck am I doing?  At that point, I stopped.  But I did end up having four glasses of wine that night and a bunch of other stuff I wasn't intending on having.  When I went to bed that evening, I felt lousy, physically and emotionally.  My stomach was burning from the wine, threatening to give me heartburn.  I slept kind of lousy too.  So yesterday, when I got up, the kids talked me into going out to get them a lightbulb for their Easy Bake oven, and after all the running around, we got back home with just enough time to pack their bags for a four day visit to my mom's house.  The chaos and my hangover had me so crabby, and I felt bad that it had to be like that, but my body was responding to the injustice I treated it with the prior evening.  After getting back to town, my husband and I enjoyed a nice, quiet and uninterrupted meal at Applebees.  I had the Cajun Lime Tilapia, which came a little overcooked, on a bed of seasoned rice with a side of steamed broccoli.  It felt so good to get whole, warm, healthy food in me, and the spice on the fish made me feel like I had a pulse again.  I told myself I was not going to go so overboard again because there is nothing to be gained from it. 
So this morning, I took the luxury of sleeping in and when I woke I weighed in.  182, yuck.  I did my cardio, which felt like a challenge today, and ate a good breakfast.  I already feel better.  Which leaves me wondering, if eating crappy and not working out leaves us feeling so lousy, why do we wish we could do that, and justify it when we do indulge?  The mind is a funny thing.  Well, to this Christmas season I say, good riddance!  I am not going to let one day of bad choices make me get off track or lose my focus.  Those extra pounds I put back on can SUCK IT!  This means WAR!

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