I have two alarms set on my iPhone for weekdays, one at 4:30am, in case I am in the mood to get up and do cardio, and one for 5:00am, which gives me 1/2 hour to wake up, watch the news and check Facebook before jumping into the chaos of getting myself and the kids ready. The 4:30 alarm has, for many months, been more like a warning alarm telling me not to sleep too deeply because the real alarm is coming. Today I actually got up and decided to try to dance for cardio. It was not pretty! Very uninspired, uncaffienated, clumsy and zombie-esque. But it got my heart rate up, and that's the point. Still, I didn't feel like it was much of a workout. I did it because 2 Thursday's a month my husband goes to meetings at the Masonic Lodge which sometimes translates into me having to handle homework with my kids, which can mean I don't get done in time to go for a walk. So I planned ahead and got it done.
Work went fairly smoothly, not too busy or too slow. It was yet another day that I didn't get to see Elliot, it was the girl. I guess she's our permanent 'runner'. Boo! I'm still holding out hope that Elliot will come tomorrow since it was like that last week, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.
I was hungry so much today, despite eating almost exactly what I eat other days. I actually ate tomorrow's cheese sticks today my stomach was growling so hardcore! I was also craving junk.
When I got home my younger son said that he needs a protractor to do his homework and we didn't have one so we went to Target. Bad idea! I can never buy only what I need from that place, I find so much else that I have to have! I came home with flaming hot Cheetos for my older son, Doritos Spicy Street Taco flavor plus guacamole for me and them, some Fiber One bars for the kids and a curling iron that I can leave at work. And no protractor. I ate some chips and guacamole and felt simultaneously good and bad, mentally. Since it wasn't raining I decided to go for a walk. It makes such a huge difference with music! I got into a nice groove and felt good walking and rockin' out to my music. Hips still hurt, might be a posture/lower back thing. I have been stretching more today and will keep working my lower body with stretches and massage. I am wondering if it has anything to do with the fact that I have upped my carbs slightly, according to the plan. It'll take more research but I think if I keep moving and stretching I will be ok. I had a bizarro day where I looked thin in the mirror today, particularly my face, it made me a little confused because I know I'm not thin. Maybe it's because my hair seems to have grown a foot overnight too. Strange stuff. I haven't actually been putting all that much thought into my weight lately, I am focused more on my hair and face. I've been using a treatment for puffy eyes and wrinkles around the eye, putting a lot more work into my hair and making sure I have lip gloss on all day. It makes me feel prettier. And right now I guess that's where I'm at, wanting to feel good about myself despite my weight. I am taking back what was lost all those years that I let myself believe that I was not worthy of positive attention (from myself or others) because I didn't look like a swimsuit model. My body is not wrong, I am not wrong. I don't look like a swimsuit model and I'm still getting all kinds of attention. When you know you are beautiful it glows from the inside and paints the outside in a brilliant palette of colors. And others notice. Too bad so many of us don't know we are beautiful. And affective. It's a shame someone else had to clue me in on my own beauty before I believed it existed. Feeling beautiful is so powerful! I hope you take time to do something for yourself today that makes you feel beautiful.