Another strange thing happened today, or has been happening for a couple weeks. My main UPS man has been acting different around me, won't make eye contact with me, I've even caught him staring at my chest while I sign the pad. We have only ever exchanged pleasantries, usually business-related ones at that, but I have been in lighter spirits with the Elliot thing, and this UPS man might be taking things the wrong way. He started spiking his hair up and talking more, standing closer to me than necessary, and today he had cologne on! I am not going to assume that it is about me, maybe he had a hot date after work or something, but I'm really hoping it has nothing to do with me. It was about the same time that he put his arm around me that he started acting different. Could be coincidence. I have been giving off some vibes, because I feel so good about myself. I'm not asking for trouble, I am just expressing myself, and I happen to be in a pretty good mood and I think those are qualities men find attractive.
Whatever is making my throat sore slowly started to suck the energy out of me, and the thought of not going for a walk tonight was sounding really good, but once I realized how nice it is outside, I decided to go for a shorter, slower-paced walk than the past couple days. My husband came with and we had a few laughs, but I was just counting the paces until we got back home so I could rest a little. My joints were a little achey today, especially my hips, but that might be from adding so much activity so soon with few breaks. I have one more final exam to take this week and then I'll be free for the summer. I could have done it tonight, but I'd rather take it when my mind feels fresher.
I know I will need to talk to my husband about what I feel I am lacking, part of the conversation we were having on our walk was about girls who take selfies all the time in order for people to tell them how pretty they are. I said, "It feels good to hear that you look good." He answered something about it being a shallow way to fulfill oneself. I wanted to say something but I was a little put-off by the conversation. Maybe I am shallow, I need outside reinforcement because I didn't grow up as the apple of anyone's eye, an only child totally spoiled and doted on. I'd like it if that reassurance came from my husband. Maybe it's not fair to put that on him when it's my own childhood issue, but it is part of my nature as a Capricorn to need reassurance. My husband is extremely attractive, and ladies do love him, (you can see one of his modeling pictures here) but sometimes he needs a little help knowing what I need. It's not fair to compare him to someone else, especially when I haven't shared my thoughts with him. We are planning an overnight or weekend away at the end of the month, just the two of us, this should give us some time to talk. My marriage isn't in jeopardy, I still see myself growing old with my husband, sometimes I just wish he still looked at me like Elliot does. We all deserve that from time to time. Now I'm going to drift off with that lovely picture of Ryan Guzman in my head. Oh the drama!