Yesterday was a day that I was looking at as a turning point as far as Elliot and a bunch of interrelated stuff goes. During a two week cycle, the runner typically gets one week day off (I'm guessing they rotate Saturday's). I was hoping Elliot would be filling in, but I figured if he didn't come yesterday that I pretty much wouldn't see him anymore. Not that my life would be dramatically different, I have been slowly adapting to not seeing him, even though I wasn't loving it. But he sneaked in while I was helping a casual browser who announced that she wasn't going to buy anything but wanted to see what we had for her granddaughter. I don't know how I didn't see him come in, he walked right past me but as he was coming out of my work area I said "it's nice to see you!" And he stopped for a minute and said, "It really is!" Then we wished each other a good weekend and he was gone. I was a little stunned, it happened so fast. And that's all it took to put me in an awesome mood! It renewed something in me; hope? Drive?Joy, at least momentarily. I had that Jason Derulo playing (Want to Want me) as I am quite addicted to it right now, and I had my little happy-dance session to it a few times throughout the day. He is getting a little less shy, but I don't know if he'll ever make a move. I kinda hope he doesn't. I like it where it's at.
I got a decent walk yesterday, my son Zach wanted to come with me. I really wanted to just go by myself and blast that song and think about stuff, but I can't argue with spending time with my son and helping him get some exercise. I am happy he's following my example and adapting some of the healthier habits I've begun. As a family we went out to dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant where the food is really high quality and the service is fantastic. I always get the mixed veggies with tofu and it never disappoints. It's nice to have options that aren't going to totally reverse all the work I put in all week.
This morning when I woke up, my husband had gone out to coffee with one of his buddies from the lodge, and it was raining. At first I was a little disappointed about the rain and was going to postpone my walk, but that made me feel bummed out so I grabbed my headphones and umbrella and headed out. It was cold and windy but I was grinning like an idiot, it feels really freeing to be out there making good stuff happen. Zach and I grabbed a quick breakfast at Subway (egg white and cheese flatbread for me, yum!) and got groceries. Once my husband headed off to the gym, I decided to sneak in a strength session myself. I trained shoulders, chest and triceps, and after 2 circuits my muscles were so trashed I couldn't use my arms to get off the floor! I have lost a lot of strength, but it felt good to see my muscles in motion again. It can only add to the positive results I am already starting to see. As I was working out, I made a comment about how shakey my arms were and Zach, who was watching me, asked if I was happy I was doing it and I said that I don't want to just keep getting weaker as I get older so, yes. I choose to be strong because I am owning the fact that I have the choice. And if I keep working I'll get there. I don't know if I can ever give back what Elliot gave to me; when he looked at me like that I came alive again. After all the time I spent trying to find motivation it fell in my lap from someone I didn't even know. My luck is amazing, and I won't take it for granted!