Awe, Nuts! (And March 1 Measurements)

I have a confession.  I purposely didn't post my weigh in yesterday, because I was not happy with what I saw on the scale.  This, after I swore I would no longer do daily weigh-ins or let the number on the scale effect me.  The number is so insignificant, really.  When I look in the mirror, I can see so much more muscle there than even a month ago, and logically I know it will weigh more, but I still have the irrational thought processes of the obese, depressed, trapped lady afraid to step on the scale, because it alone will determine my self-worth.  The only difference these days, is that I have positive reinforcement by way of loose-fitting clothing and the magical yellow measuring tape. 
So, my weight for yesterday's weigh in is 171, disappointing since I was teetering between 169/170 last week.  Beginning on Friday, I went through my first true bout of waning desire for this whole adventure.  Even though I was working out, I was starting to feel myself wanting to slip and indulge in all kinds of foods I haven't craved or even thought about since I began 3 months ago.  So I had the pizza on Friday, and then on Saturday, while the rest of my family was devouring ice cream cake (from the b-day party we attended) I took one small forkfull, just to have a taste.  Even though I know one taste isn't going to derail me, sugar is so dangerous for me.  I handled it OK, but part of me wished I would've just skipped that taste.  After all, what did it really do for me, except make me wish I could eat a whole slice?  I continued eating what I would normally eat, at regular intervals (about 2.5-3 hours apart), but I had a hard time staying away from the extremely fresh dry-roasted peanuts (with sea salt), and ate a few servings in between meals and snacks.  What a waste of fat, calories and salt!  For the entire weekend, I was snacking on those darn peanuts.  It is really the first time I've allowed myself to eat something as a snack, instead of a tool to acheiving my goals.  By the time yesterday came around, I was really starting to doubt myself.  Not only was I so tired/burnt out, but I was starting to allow myself to think about foods I hadn't wanted for months.  Then when I went thrifting, I was trying on tops in size XL, and some were flattering and some looked hideously too small for me, which was another mind-trip which added to my doubts.  Thankfully, the flattering shirts I did buy (5 of them, I actually have a few things that don't make me look pregnant now) and a 20 minute catnap gave me enough of an energizing zing to stay on course.  I stuck to my plan of resting for yesterday and today, even though it is hard for me to stay away from it, went to bed early last night and awoke feeling really well-rested and alive again.  Thankfully, I didn't have any problem leaving those damn nuts alone today!  This morning, I have spent nearly 4 hours job hunting (I am starting to get really discouraged) and then took measurements, which is making me want to work out, but I am not going to.  So, without babbling any longer, here are my monthly results:
Loss since Feb 1                                                                    Loss since Dec 1
Bust: 1 1/4 inches                                                                      4 inches
Chest: 5/8 inches                                                                        2 1/2 inches
Waist:  1 1/2 inches                                                                    3 1/4 inches
Hips:  7/8 inches                                                                         4 inches
Midway:  2 3/8 inches                                                                 4 inches
Thighs:  1/4 inch                                                                          7/8 inches
Knees:  3/8 inch                                                                          5/8 inches
Calves:  1/4 inch                                                                           3/8 inch
Upper Arm: 3/8 inch                                                                     1 3/8 inches
Forearms:  1/4 inch                                                                       1/2 inch

So that's it.  I try to do it the same each time I measure, and measure several times.  The upper arms are the hardest to measure, it seems to me, by looking at them, they have shrunk a lot, but they are hard for me to measure.  Anyway, the numbers are continuing to go in the right direction.  I don't expect to lose much from my legs, as they are pretty tone already, from years of carrying all that extra weight around!  So, even though I'm a little frustrated by the numbers I see on the scale right now, these are numbers I can live with!  I am SO going to be a fitness model when I'm done!  Well, maybe not, but I sure do feel fine!  If I feel this good (physically) tomorrow I will start my workouts again.  Less than five months until the contest closes, I am going to cross the finish line with my head held high!


  1. Wow congratulations!

    I gave you a wee shout out on my blog yesterday, stop by and check it out...


  2. It must be difficult to get out of the mindset of surrendering to a craving then beating yourself up with guilt because if it. You are doing great, don't let lapses become the norm but don't give them more significance than they deserve, either.


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