Ok, enough of the gloomy gus stuff. I am back to my peppy self. I ended up doing two session of cardio yesterday, one in the morning (interval walking) to get that extra fat burn before breakfast, and the second before 1pm, (dancing) for a little extra push. I was a bit surprised to discover how much the afternoon cardio session elevated my energy level and mood. I did delay a meal to do that later session of cardio, it was just poor planning, and for a good cause.
Today was weight day, so I began my morning with dancing to my iTunes library. Man, I've got an eclectic collection of music. From cheesy 80's and 90's dance music to Timbaland/Justin Timberlake and Taio Cruz. when I am dancing, I let myself remember the days when my friends and I ruled the dance clubs, and sometimes I let myself imagine I am out with friends, having a blast. It may be corney, but it works. And time slips by so quickly because I am someplace else. Anyway, it's just one more thing that puts me in a good mood.
I had a pretty killer weight session today, and it looks like the lunges will be a permanent fixture, as I was able to do them without strain again today. I figured out what I was doing, moving forward with the front leg, instead of up and down with the back leg. So that is a triumph I am happy about. My legs are looking crazy. My husband calls them "tree trunk legs" because they are pretty thick. I guess I have decent genetics for building muscle. I was whining a bit about how it doesn't look that feminine, and my dear husband said he likes that look, and that it's better than having chicken legs. We have had a long-standing joke about how, after years of body building, his calves still haven't caught up to mine in size. Genetics goes a long way. I have never been a graceful, feminine beauty in the traditional sense of the word, so in the end, I'd rather have the tree trunks than fat, saggy thighs. One thing is for sure, I will not be hiding my legs under long capris and dresses all summer, some shorts will definitely be in order! Sounds good already, if only it were warmer out.
Did anyone watch this week's episode of A&E's show Heavy? Wow, this one got me particularily emotional. The two people featured both had "dad issues", one of them had an abusive father and he ended up being raised by his mom, the other, the girl, her dad committed suicide when she was young. It was so heartbreaking to see them going through their journey toward healing, the one who'd lost her father urging the one who was abused to make ammends. Anyway, that is my favorite show, hands down. How much more inspirational could a show be. If you haven't already seen it, you should watch it. This week was Sallie and Chad. I like that they work out the psychological stuff on that show. Obesity has a psychological cause. I was speaking to a morbidly obese woman yesterday who claims she doesn't have any deep, dark things bothering her, that she is just lazy. I felt like she was in denial. What she said was one thing, what I heard was, "I don't care about myself/health." No one comes to that point in life without there being some deep emotional stuff they are not able to come to terms with. Even if you are in denial or just not sure what is hurting you, there is something behind the careless eating. I am in the boat of not really knowing what made me stop caring about myself. I have used food in so many ways that have nothing to do with hunger, but I am not really sure when or why that all began. I'm sure I will find the answers when I begin looking. I'm on a good track now, and things are starting to come together, now it is time to start healing my mind. Fixing the body is the easy part, but fixing the mind is perhaps the most crucial part of lasting success. I'm really glad I began this journey now, when I have so much time left to drink in life, and savor it the way it was meant to be. I'm in such high spirits, I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings! Happy Tuesday everyone!